Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What's the difference between and Buffalo and a Bison?
You can't wash your face in a Buffalo.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
These puns are turtle-y hilarious.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Why don’t anteaters get sick?
Because they’re full of antibodies.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What mouse was a Roman emperor? Julius Cheeser!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
In cold blood.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
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