Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What medicine do you give to sick ants?
Antibiotics.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Did you hear about the constipated crocodile?
It was a crockashit.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What happened when the kitten turned one? She had a birthday paw-ty.
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
Turtles communicate with each other through shell phones.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What soccer position does a pink flamingo play? Flamingoalie.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
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