Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?
Ham boogers.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
Q. What did the doe say to the louse on her new baby fawn?
A. Gosh deer nit!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
What do Chinese bears wear over their faces when they’re robbing banks?
Pandanas!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
‘Here Kitty, kitty, kitty’!
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Our lobster neighbors never give us gifts during the holidays!
They’re so shellfish.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What is an owl’s dream occupation?
Flight attendant.
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
How do lions greet people?
"Pleased to eat you!"
How do fish get high?
Seaweed.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood?
It scallops outta there.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.