Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Q: How does a tiger stop a video?
A: By pressing paws.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
I told my wife that I saw a sheep pondering its place in the world.
She asked me, “Can ewe even imagine?”
What type of cat lives under the sea? A purr-maid.
How does a baby beetle get around?
In a buggy.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
I watched a good film about fishing last night.
It had a great cast.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Q: Why did the beaver need an alarm clock?
A: It was to dam early.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
What does an obstinate piglet always say to his mama?
“Sow what?”
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
What's white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
Did you hear about the bird that couldn’t pass environmental legislation?
He was a lame duck.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
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