How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
The feeling you get when you think you have heard these cow puns before is known as deja-mooo.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Did you hear about the koala bear in the church choir? Yeah, they say he sings bearitone.
What did the deer say to her daughter?
“Soon you’ll be all doe-n up!”
What did the deer say when she wanted to be left alone?
“Doe away!”
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A sunburned murder of crows is referred to as 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
What’s black and white and red all over?
A sunburned panda.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
It's nearly 6 years since US Navy SEALs took out Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.
Talk Abbottabad place to hide.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
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