What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
What would a crow wear to the Halloween party? A crown!
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
Q. Why was the blonde disappointed after her visit to an apiary?
A. There weren't any gorillas there. DUH!
What do you get if you cross an alligator with a flower?
I don’t know, but I will not smell it!
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do you call a room full of crows? Crowded.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What goes white black white black white black red?
A panda that falls from a cliff.
How do pigs get to the hospital?
In ham-bulances.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try and try and try and try-ceratops
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
You can catch a lot of flies with honey
But you'll catch more honeys being fly.
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
How did the koala bear get the high-paying job? He met all of the koalafications.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What Disney movie can a deer watch over and over again?
Fawn-tasia.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
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