Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Two snakes parted.
The first one said, “Fangs for the memories”.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
One of the punny pig names for a pig that loves Shakespeare is Hamlet.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?
Do you want some tea, Rex?
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
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