How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
What did the father buffalo say to his kid when he left for college?
Bi son!
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What has more lives than a cat?
A frog because it croaks every night.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
How did the horse get up the stairs?
He mounted them.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit? A poultrygeist!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Did you know that the blue whale is so big, that if you laid it end to end on a basketball court …
The game would be cancelled.
Why did the Buddhist gorilla get locked out of his monastery?
He forgot his monk-key
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
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