What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
My dog hates the rain.
He doesn’t want to step in a poodle.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
Flamingoes have a special name for one of their numbers who has passed away. They call it flamingone.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
All prominent werewolf movies are produced in howl-lywood.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Which chicken is at the top of the pecking order?
Attila the Hen.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
A bear covered in a bunch of crows gives the picture of a grizzly murder.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
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