What do you call a rabbit who is angry over getting burnt? A hot cross bunny.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Did you hear about the snake who wrote a love letter to his girlfriend?
He sealed it with a hiss.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
What do you call a kids book about otters? Harry Otter.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
Where does the Easter bunny get his eggs? From an eggplant.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What do you call a bee trying to make up its mind?
A maybee
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Tricera-cops.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Q. How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, but it has to be a really BIG light bulb.
What’s black and white with red spots?
A panda with the measles.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
Why should you never share a bed with a pig? They hog all the covers.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
I finally found out why flamingos sleep with one leg up! If they had both legs up they would fall over.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
An electrocuted turtle feels shell-shocked.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
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