What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What do you get when you put four ducks in a box?
A box of quackers.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What do you call a mouse with no balls?
Optical.
When fishing, is there ever a good reason to take the worm off the hook?
I guess that’s debaitable.
What do you call dogs that look exactly the same?
Dogglegangers.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
The only difference between pea soup and roast beef is anyone can roast beef.
Today I learned that a giraffe’s neck is so strong a human can climb up it.
Also, I got banned from my local zoo.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
The killer whale planned its attack on the seals for weeks.
It was very carefully orca-strated.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Go to BabaMail
