What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
What is a baker’s favorite type of icing?
Fawn-dant.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
What do you get if cross a frog with some mist?
Kermit the Fog.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What do you call 144 kangaroos in a box?
Gross.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want, it can't hear you!
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
A mosquito can fly, but a fly cannot mosquito.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What do you say to a bee that bothers you?
"Buzz off!"
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
What do you call an irate kangaroo?
A k-angry-oo.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What do you call an imaginary pig? A pig-ment of your imagination.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
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