What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Q. What do you get if you cross a devilish deer with an evil cougar?
A. A hell cat.
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife?
A manewer model.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What happened when the tiger ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Q. What did the Aussie zookeeper say to the gorilla who was spying on him?
A. There's no need to pry, mate.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What jumps up and down in front of a car?
Froglights.
What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
Don't worry, bee happy!
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
Q. What does a doe say When something very unexpected happens?
A. Oh, Deer God!
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
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