It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving? Animal Control
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
What do you get when you put a bomb in a dinosaur? Dino-mite.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Why was the koala scientist so well-respected by his peers? He was known for conducting excellent koalatative research.
Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
What is a koala bear’s favorite line in the movie “The Sixth Sense”? “Aussie dead people.”
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
He heard there were some hot chicks on the other side.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What do you can a kangaroo covered in tape?
Hopscotch
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
I was talking to a barn owl last night, when I mentioned that I'd just got engaged.
He said, "You twit! To who?"
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
My friend uses a white crow to protect his farm from other crows
He calls it a rarecrow
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
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