Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
What’s black and white, has eight wheels and travels very fast?
A panda on roller skates.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Something’s goat to give.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What do you call a dinosaur with high heels? My-feet-are-saurus
What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Hen-durance.
Did you hear about the croc calling the frog? He just croc-o-dialled.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
My friend asked me how my pet crow communicates…
I replied, “Microwaves”.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
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