How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
How does a crab go when it's right?
"Aw, snap!"
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
Eleph-ino! (Sounds like "Hell if I know!")
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Are beavers the best builders in the animal kingdom? Dam right they are.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
If a crab worked in a pizza parlor, which station would it work?
The crust station.
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Why did the shark spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
How does a bee get to school?
She takes a school buzz
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
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