What does a kangaroo do when it gets Covid? Goes to the hop-spittle.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What do you give a sick penguin?
Tweetment.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What would a tiger running a Xerox machine in the back of a store be called? A copycat.
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
The next round the wolf showed up at the butchery, he was arrested. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What is a baby parrot's favourite game? Beak-a-boo!
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What animal can go into a tiger’s den and came out alive?
The tiger.
Why are alligator comedians so funny?
Their wit is as razor sharp as their teeth!
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What did the deer say to his friend when he suggested a trip to the park? Good i-deer!
What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
“You scratch my beak and I’ll scratch yours!”
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What is a gorillas second favourite fruit to eat behind bananas?=
Ape-ricots
Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?
Well, technically it’s only a murder if there’s probable caws.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet smell.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
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