What does a beaver from Philly drink?
Wooder.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Sorry seems to be the hardest word to say...
Unless you're Chinese. Then it's 'squirrel'.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
A Zebra said to a Lion “Let’s swap roles for a while."
The Lion said “ I’m game!”.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
A week after the werewolf swallowed the farmer’s clock, it had ticks all over.
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw?
Because they don’t know how to cook it.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Whatever floats your goat.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What happens when you play tug-of-war with a pug?
Pulled pork!
Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
In the clawset!
The gang of crows used a crowbar to break into the house.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae? Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
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