What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Thinking about selling my crab so i could make money. Then I realised "am I really this shellfish"?
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw? Cause they don't know how to cook
What do winged horses attend in school? Pegclasses.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What did the llama get when he graduated school?
A dipllama.
Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
Did you hear about the scared kangaroo?
Yeah, he was a bit jumpy.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a wolf?
An animal that mooed at the full moon.
What’s a pig’s favorite color? Ma-hog-any.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
Why do pandas love watching classic movies?
Because they are in black and white.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
Q. Why did the girl-illa win the beauty contest?
A. She was beast of show!
Which dog won the race? A weiner dog.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What does a deer say when it prays to the god?
“Deer God!”
If your piglet wants to be a wizard, there’s only one alternative: Hogwarts.
That dog is so beautiful. She should be on the cover of Vanity Fur.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
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