I like you, you croc my world.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
Why doesn’t an owl study for a test?
They prefer to wing it.
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
What’s green and hangs from trees?
Giraffe snot.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
The wolf really needed to talk with the skeleton because he had a bone to pick with him.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What do you get if you cross a pigeon and a parrot? Voicemail!
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare!
Wife: would you get me those two cans from the top shelf?
Me: I don't see any toucans in here.
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
What happened when Turbo lost his shell? He began to feel sluggish.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? Because he is a meat eater!
What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ? Long distance!
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What’s the difference between a lion and a tiger?
A tiger always tells the truth, the other one is always lie-on.
What’s happens to the sportiest horse?
It gets to be first horse-pick of the draft.
What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What country has the most birds?
Turkey.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you call a well-balanced horse?
Stable.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Why was the crocodile invited to glamorous parties?
Because she was a snappy dresser.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What kind tree grows chickens?
Poultry.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
In what type of weather is the vet the busiest?
When its raining cats and dogs.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
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