What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay? Anywhere he wants to.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
I thought Lord Of The Flies was about entomology.
It really bugs me that it isn't.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
Why are kangaroos so qualified to be teachers?
Because they’re kan-gurus.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Why was the mosquito sad on christmas?
It was a bah hum bug.
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
To the person who stole my coffee, my lamp, and my parrot…
I don’t know how you sleep at night.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
What kind of underwear do monkeys wear?
Chimpantsies.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
Something’s goat to give.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
Did you guys know that dolphins attack seals for sport?
It's almost like they do it on porpoise.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What do dogs have that no other animal has?
Puppies.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
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