Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing? “I’m not a people porcine.”
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
How do you let a deer know you like her?
You fawn over her.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Which hotel do mice most often use?
The Stilton.
What is a koala bear’s favorite mixed drink? A pina koala.
When is a car like a frog?
When it's being toad.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
What did the clean dog say to the dirty dog?
Long time no flea.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What was the owl’s favorite Whitney Houston song?
Owl always love you.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
Where did the kittens go on a school field trip? To the mewseum
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
How many worms does it take to eat a zombie?
It depends on the size of the zombie!
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What do you call a parrot that won’t eat?
A Polly-no-meal.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What does a dog love to eat while watching a movie?
Pupcorn.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."
I said, "Your son must look very strange."
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