A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
Where do horses buy groceries?
Whinny-Dixie.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
What do you think of puns about deer?
“I’m very fawn’d of them myself.”
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
Do you think you know more parrot jokes than me? Toucan play that game!
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
What does a deer do when it gets to its friend’s house?
Rings the deer bell.
Why did the owl join Tinder?
He didn’t want to be owl by himself.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
To resolve the internal issues at the office, crows involved their cawnflict mediators.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
I don’t know why everyone is so upset about untraditional family structures, it’s been happening in the animal world for years. For example, all water buffalos have three parents.
One oxygen buffalo and two hydrogen buffalos.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
My favorite music is by Spandau Croc-quet.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
Which fish is the most famous? The starfish.
There was a flamingo in our garden for such a long time, we started calling it a flaminstay.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?
Ten-ants.
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