I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What is a lion’s favourite cheese?
Roarquefort
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
Why do dogs hate computers?
They can’t stick their heads out of those Windows.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales.
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
How do fleas get from place to place?
By itch-hiking.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
Did you hear that the singer Seal left a night club event because of the revellers sharing derogatory poems about him?
He was dissed by the prose at a rave.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What’s black and white, black and white, and black and white?
A penguin rolling down a hill.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your Halloween bag?
They can lighten your load!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
What sound does a llama’s doorbell make?
Llama llama ding dong.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Q. Who walks around the suburbs trying to sell venison meat?
A. A deer-to-door salesmant.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
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