What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Ever heard of Cawsmopolitan? It is one of the best magazines for crows.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What do you get when you mix a sheep and a kangaroo
A wooly jumper
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
Why don’t giraffes do drugs?
Because they’re naturally high.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?
A monkfish.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?
A seahorse.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
A seal goes into a bar and the bartender asked him,"What will it be Mr seal?"
The seal responds,"anything but a Canadian Club".
What do you call a dinosaurs fart? "A blast from the past"
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
Why did the dog walk in to the saloon?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw
What do you call a guinea pig that has become a member of the mafia?
A hamster
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Q. What do gorillas and big apes do to make each other laugh?
A. They tell punny jokes about humans!
How can you tell if a crab is drunk?
It walks straight
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elka Seltzer.
What breed of dog always gets cold?
A Bichon Freeze.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
A tiger lost a storytelling competition recently as he has only got one tail.
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
What is a pink bird's favorite dance? Flamin-tango.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
If you mix a ghost and a cow together, you will create vanishing cream.
How about the stylish female crocodile, she's every inch a frock-o-dile.
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