Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
I have a flamingo friend who has a fantastic imagination, but they are always indulging in flights of fancy.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What's green, green, green, green, green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
Where does a baby monkey sleep?
In an apricot.
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
What did the cat do to someone she had wronged? She a-paw-logized.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
What is the coldest type of horse?
A freezian.
Beat funny horse puns
What’s a horse’s favorite makeup brand?
Neighhhbelline.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Where do gorillas keep their beehives?
Apeiaries.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
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