What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
What does a mosquito say to greet his girlfriend?
"M'laria."
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
When you come across a werewolf with no legs, how do you call it? Call it anything because it cannot chase you!
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
What are pigs celebrating when they celebrate their birthday? The day they were boar-n.
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
Why did the man wear a rabbit as a hat? He didn’t want anyone to harm a Hare on his head!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What do you call a luxurious ant?
Decad-ant.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What fish are at the zoo?
Lion fish!
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
A fly feels a bug on it's back. "Hey bug on my back, are you a mite?"
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
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