I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What is an Italian’s favorite type of dog?
A ciao ciao.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
What do you call a goat who paints pictures?
Vincent Van Goat.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
What’s a whale’s favorite James Bond movie?
A License To Krill.
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Where do most koala movie stars live? In Koalawood, Koalafornia, of course!
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
Emo bunnies just do not carrot all.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
Did you hear the horse and the pig are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship.
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
My dog loves designer hand-bags.
So I got him a Poochi.
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