Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What did the alligator say to the other alligator that was in the way?
“Please move, I need to get bayou.”
What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
The turkey says, "gobble, gobble."
I appreciate it when food comes with instructions.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat? 'Here Kitty, kitty, kitty'!
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
If a monkey has thirty bananas in one hand and forty bananas in the other hand, what does he have?
Very big hands.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
Why was the piglet whining.
He was boared out of his brains.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
The zookeeper told me I wasn’t allowed to buy the animals so I asked why the zebra had a barcode.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
What did the scientist’s cat say? I think I’ve lost an electron, I’m pawsitive!
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little anty-bodies.
What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey?
A Kick-Ass
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
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