What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
After his teeth were cleaned, the werewolf ate the dentist.
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice burg-ers.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
What mouse was a Roman emperor?
Julius Cheeser!
What do you call a parrot without feathers? Bald!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
I ordered chicken fingers tossed in Buffalo sauce the other day
I asked the chef to be gentle while tossing them though. Because they’re tenders.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
Why are alligators long and green?
Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
What do you call an ant that moves to another country?
An emigr-ant.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
I asked a pink bird who its favourite artist was. It looked at me strangely and replied “Flamingo Starr, of course.”
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