If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What’s the best way to make a bull sweat?
Put him in a tight jumper.
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
Why do flamingos fly south in winter? Because it would be too far to walk.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What's a frog's favorite flower?
A croakus.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
You must be the Easter Bunny, because you’ve got me all egg-cited.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
Q. Which sweet dessert is banned from the menu at the Deer Cafe?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What did the horse say to his friend that didn’t come party last night?
You didn’t turnout.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
I goat this.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
My dog’s favorite band is The Beagles.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
What makes a glow worm glow?
A light meal!
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
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