What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What did the Easter bunny say to the carrot?It’s been nice gnawing you.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
How does a dog stop a TV show?
He presses paws.
What do you call a happy rabbit? An Hop-timist.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What happens when a koala drinks too much alcohol? He gets a bear gut.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you call a gorilla in a cement-mixer?
King Koncrete.
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
Why do mice have long tails?
Well, they’d look silly with long hair!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
Did you hear about the gorilla with a screw loose?
He needed to use a money wrench to tighten it.
What do a mommy bee and a daddy bee make when they have alone time?
A babe-bee.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
Q: Which U.S. state do tigers like the most?
A: Maine.
Have you seen the new movie with the Dachshund?
Apparently it’s an Oscar Weiner.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What kind of seal do you get on letters from Turkey?
A stamped bull.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What our parents tortoise was to be kind to each other.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
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