Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What did one fish say to the other?
If you keep your mouth closed you will not get caught.
When you go to the wolf hotel just around the corner, you will meet this huge, moustached wolf who always says, “howl may I help you?” as if he has no other words to us!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What’s a dog’s favorite condiment?
Fetch-up.
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What happened to the vet that was accused of negligence? They were sued for meow-practice
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What kind of deer make great weather forecasters?
Rain-deer.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What type of dog chases anything red?
A bull dog.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
The local zoo just started a recycling collection program to support its mission: 'When you bring in one can, you can save Toucans.'
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
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