How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
What kind of horse do you ride after dark?
A night mare.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling “Help, shark! Help!”
I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
What do you can an ant scientist?
Albert Antstein.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What do you call an Arab next to a cow?
Milk Sheikh.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
A guy walks into a crow bar
It's a murder scene
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Why should you never throw a snake like a boomerang?
Because it’ll come back to bite you.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
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