Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
What do bees chew?
Bubmble gum.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What do you call a pony running in a circle? Centrifugal horse.
My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Why didn’t the boy believe the tiger? Because he thought it was a lion!
A lion would never play golf.
But a Tiger Wood.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
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