What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
We’ll need protracturtle in our next lesson since the topic will be angles.
What do you call a fascist mosquito?
Benito Mosquitollini.
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed, and sometimes they vacation at the river bed.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.
But a dino might.
Why don't gorillas vote?
They're ape-political.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
When a girl saw a sad alligator at the zoo she asked him; hey are you cai-man?
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the goat farmer’s wife say to her husband when he was swearing on the job?
“Not in front of the kids!”
He has some good puns on crows, but he doesn’t have to keep crowing about it.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
What did the banana do when it saw a gorilla? The banana split.
I love eating glow worms
Especially as a light snack
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
Overheard on a bus... What do you call a social hermit crab?
Just a crab.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
The police hung up the phone call when I informed them about a murder in my front yard. They said they could not do anything regarding the crows.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
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