Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
Why did the snowman name his dog ‘Frost’?
Because ‘Frost’ bites.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Police are investigating a string of homicides which have occurred over the last two weeks. The victims have identified as Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Tony the Tiger, and the latest victim, Lucky the Leprechaun.
They are looking for a cereal killer.
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What's better than a talking dinosaur ? A spelling bee. What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? Try-Try-Try-ceratops.
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What do fish use for money?
Sand dollars!
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What do llamas call the end of the world?
Llamageddon.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
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