Our flamingo colleague was leaving for a new job recently. We all told him to flamingo for it.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
A goat came out of nowhere and headbutted me
It was a ram-done act of violence
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A zebra.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do whales do when they get angry?
They blow up and then let off steam.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What was Muhammad Ali’s favorite breed of dog?
A boxer.
What are the fastest fish in the river? The motor-pike with a side-carp!
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?
Edward Scissorfins.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
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