Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
Never take a flamingo to the local swimming baths. They really don’t like claw-rine.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What would a winged horse play in a band?
The pegabass guitar.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
Which state of America has lots of cats and dogs? Petsylvania
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
When he was chewing the skeleton, the wolf got to a point and laughed. I guess that was the funny bone.
What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus? The strawberry is red!
What do you call it when cephalopods start becoming more strict about things?
Kraken down.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
My dog recently joined a gang. Now he’s all about that pug-life.
What did the confused cat say? I’m purr-plexed!
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
What do you call an ant running away with another ant?
Ant-elope.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What kind of monkey likes seafood?
A shrimpanzee.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What kind of cheese do rodents like?
Mousearella.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
Why did the otter cross the river?
To get to the otter side
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
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