Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
My sheep-powered computer was starting to run slowly
So I added more ram
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Why did the tiger visit the eye specialist after dropping a can of red paint on himself? He saw red.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
Q. What do you call the stench that comes from antlered roadkill?
A. A foul o-deer.
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What did the llama say when he found out he had been robbed?
“I’ve been fleeced!”
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Q. What is a gorilla in a wheelchair called?
A. Dis-ape-led.
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
‘I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!’
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What sport do wasps love?
Sting-pong.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
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