What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What happened when the koala house party got a little too far out of hand? One of the neighbors koalaed the cops.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Old gorillas never die, but they do go bananas.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What should someone do if they are stuck between a jaguar and a tiger? Simple, just take the Jaguar and drive away from the tiger.
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What do you call an elephant with an aerial on his head?
An elephant-enna.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t get warm?
Coolant.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What do you call a group of crows eating a box of corn flakes?
A cereal murder.
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
Thought I saw a zebra in a field near my house recently, turned out to be a horse in his pyjamas.
How tall is a spider?
Eight foot.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
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