What is the definition of “moon”?
The past tense of “moo”.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What do you call an alligator that makes others fight?
An instigator.
What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks!
Dog to Waiter: Are there any bones in this?
Waiter to Dog: Yes sir, why’s that?
Dog to Waiter: Because I really dig them!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with an alien?
A Mars-upial.
What's a Koalas favorite drink? Coca Koala!
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it.
Why don’t Penguins like rock music?
They only like sole.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Where did Noah keep his bees? In his archive.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
Flamingos are pretty good at ideas… They have a lot of experience with formation.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Why did the bear quit his job at the daycare center?
It was panda-monium.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do married snakes have on their bath towels?
Hiss and Hers.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Why did the spider crawl up the elephants leg the second time?
It got pissed off the first time.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
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