What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
How does a turtle feel after being electrocuted?
Shell-shocked.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
What do beavers like to put on their salads?
Branch dressing.
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
Got a pet zebra, didn’t realise how hungry they are. He eats like a horse.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
Why do people like working at the Red Lobster?
It helps them get out of their shell.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What kind of music do sophisticated kangaroos listen to?
Hopera.
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
Sorry we missed puppy class.
My dog was wagging. There goes his oppawtunity for pawfect attendance…
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
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