Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
What Did The Duck Say When The Waitress Came?
Put it on my bill!
What is a cat’s favorite state of America? Connecti-cat.
How does a snake shoot something?
With a boa and arrow.
What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called? Ptera Don
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What do you call a crazy chicken?
A cuckoo cluck.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do you call dogs who pay in the snow?
Slush puppies.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do racehorses eat?
Fast food.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
What do you call an alligator that has all the other gators at the swamp crown around him?
A congregator.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
Dad: Where do desert nomads buy their camels?
Son: I dunno. Where?
Dad: at Camelot.
The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
What do you call a flying monkey?
A hot air baboon.
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
What did the happy kitten say? I’m feline good!
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What did the dog order at a restaurant?
His owner’s homework.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
What does a ghost panda eat?
BamBOO!
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
What is the similarity between a male deer and a beaver? Both have buck teeth.
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