Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What did the mom say to her kitten when she caught him slouching? Paw attention to your paw-sture!
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel.
What did the kangaroo say while volunteering at the homeless shelter?
More-soup-y’all?
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What’s another popular Christmas song that baby koalas like to sing? “Joey to the World”, of course!
Which day do fish hate the most?
Fry-day.
What did the deer say when he left the barbershop?
“I feel like a million bucks!”
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What do polite whales always say?
You’re whale-come.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
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