Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What did the fish say when he posted bail?
I’m off the hook!
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What did the nervous crow do? The crow proceeded with caw-tion.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye doctor?
He kept seeing spots.
A sloth walks in to a bar and waves to get the bartender’s attention, and says I’ll have...... a soda water.
The bartender replies “why the long paws?”
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
All seals live at the same elevation
Seal level.
How do shellfish get to the hospital?
In a clambulance!
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
Did you know that you only need two letters to spell Panda?
You just need P and A.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Beaver Y.
Beaver Y. who?
Bea-ver-y quiet, you are in a library.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
What Do You Call A Duck That Steals?
A robber ducky.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken?
An egg-splosion.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What did the snake give to his wife?
A goodnight hiss.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
What do crocodiles wear to keep their legs dry in the water?
Gaiters.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do snakes do when they get angry?
They throw hissy fits.
What do you call a thirsty bee?
Beehydrated
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
My fat parrot escaped from its cage... To be honest, it's a weight off my shoulders!
My dog takes so long to get ready. He can never chews what to wear.
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