What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Q. Which kind of ape enjoys smoking tobaco?
A. Cigarilla.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
Why did the junkie adopt a one legged crow?
So he could get crow cane from his vet.
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
I went to the zoo today....
only to find out that some aquatic mammals had escaped.
It was otter chaos.
What is the only animal smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee!
What kind of bee makes milk?
A Boobie!
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What type of snake does a baby play with?
A rattlesnake.
Escaped snakes make some people hiss-terical.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
I saw a lion in a bar, trying to pick up a lioness literally half his age
and I'm like "man, you must have *no* pride"
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
How did the macho bee with eczema feel?
B-Itchy
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What’s the difference between a marine biologist and a dog?
One tags a whale, the other wags a tail.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
Q. Which country was founded by wild gorillas?
A. The Banana Republic.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food?
Snakes and Larders.
What do you call memory loss in a parrot?
Polynesia
What do you call it when evil worms take over the world?
Global Worming!
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
Why don’t most restaurants serve giraffe?
Because it’s a tall order.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why do mice need oiling ?
Because they squeak !
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
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