What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
My wife: Did you know a single dolphin can have more than 200 offspring?
Me: Wow How about the married ones?
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call an alligator that’s a very skilled conversationalist?
A dialogator.
Of all the best pieces of wolf advice, this is my favorite, “stand fur what you believe”
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
No, I'm not concerned about crows infesting my house...
It's actually just a mynah problem.
Q. Where did the gorilla like to go sailing?
A. The Chimpan-Sea
Did you hear about the gorilla that was from Vietnam?
He was a viet kong.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
Q. What do swine use to chat up a date?
A. Pig-Up Lines!
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
What type of ice cream do fish like to eat?
Shark-o-late!
What do you call two worms in love?
Soilmates.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Why do bee keepers have beautiful eyes?
Because they hold bees. (Beauty is in the eye of the bee holder)
Why do owls shower so often?
So they don’t smell fowl.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
What do you call an animal you keep in your car?
A Carpet
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What did a duck say to the comedian?
You quack me up.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo? A turkey that can pluck itself!
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
I told my husband that the National Zoo's sloth bear gave birth but ate two of the three babies. He said "now she's guilty of 2 deadly sins: sloth and gluttony."
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
A wolfswagon rabbit is by far the best car you can gift a wolf.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him? Filthy rich.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
How does a penguin get around?
By icicle.
What do you call a lazy crayfish?
A slobster.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What did the worm say to the other when he was late home? Where in earth have you been.
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