Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why is it easy to spot a Cinderella-fish? They have glass flippers!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.
It gave him the cold shoulder.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox.
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
How do horses show gratitude?
Flank you very much.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
How do koalas stay in shape? They do bearobics.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What do you call a group of whale musicians?
An orca-stra.
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
What do you call a spider with ten eyes?
A spiiiiiiiiiider.
What did the duck eat for snack?
Salted Quackers.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What is a cat’s favorite type of water? Purr-ified!
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job?
She was flanking on it.
How do you apologize to a koala? BEAR your heart and soul.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
The flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage was a true definition of murder most foul.
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
What did one flea say to the other?
Shall we walk, or shall we take the dog?
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
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