If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
How much does it cost to fly Santa’s sleigh?
About 9 bucks.
Why was the whale so sad?
The fish was said because he was a Blue whale!
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you get if you cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle neck jumper.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
What kind of tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
What is smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Sloths never kiss on the first date, they take it slow.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
How does a kangaroo win a gold medal?
In the long jump.
If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one? Goblet.
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
What’s does a winged horse like to munch on?
Pe-grass-us.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
I am an introvert, but you know how to bring me out of my shell.
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
How do deer clean their feet?
Hoof paste.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
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