What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
What do you call a flamingo that flew into a wall?
A flamingstop.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
My pet raven, Poe, started coughing... thought it was Corvid-19, but then the bird flu away. Think I will see him nevermore.
What do pigs do on the evening of February 14th?
They have a valenswines dinner.
What’s a horse’s favorite animated movie?
Bolt.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
Harambe wasn’t only one of the best gorillas I’ve ever met...
He was also a great ape.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Had beaver curry last night.
Bit like a normal curry, just a little otter.
What is a koala’s favorite type of fruit? Bearies.
What has four legs and goes Oom, Oom?
A cow walking backwards.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
What do you call a royal giraffe?
Your highness.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
What did the Gorilla say when he saw there was a sale happening?
Ooh! OOh! OOOh!!!!
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
Why are flamingos the happiest birds? They live with no reggrets.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face?
A mouse-tache!
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
I've just got a new job as a nursery rhyme cow.
I'm over the moon.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What does a dinosaur call a porcupine? A toothbrush.
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position!
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
How do you find out how heavy a whale is?
Take them to a whale-weigh station.
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