People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
Q. What do you get when you cross a doe with a bull?
A. A deery cow.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What’s green and pecks on trees?
Woody the Wood Pickle.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why are penguins good race drivers?
Because they’re always in the pole position.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What is a penguin racing driver’s favourite part of the car?
The Eggs-celerator.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
Q. Why was the gorilla's jungle party so lame?
A. Because theyran out of chimps and dip.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What's an owl's favorite subject at school?
Owl-gebra.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Have you guys tried kangaroo beer?
It’s a little hoppy.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Don’t wait on me to start the meeting. I might be a hare late.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
What do you call a funny snake?
Hissssssterical.
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
How do rabbits travel? By hareplane.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
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