What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
What did the monkey say when he cut off his tail?
It won’t be long now.
How do you make a milkshake?
Give a cow a pogo stick.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
What is a dog’s favorite vegetable? A collie flower.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
I told the other alligator to stay outside, he cai-man anyway.
What do a crab, a lobster, and a Japanese guy run over in the middle of the road all have in common?
They're all Crushed-Asians!
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
I'm giving away my legless parrot, no perches necessary!
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What happens when an alligator drives a boat?
He becomes a navigator.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Where do pigs keep their money? Why in the piggy bank, of course.
Why are koala's so sleepy? Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!
What’s a spiders favorite barbecue food?
Corn on the cobweb.
It’s the fawn of a new day! - said the deer happily after waking up.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
What’s black and white and yellow?
A cowardly panda.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What is a crows favorite vegetable?
Corn on the caawb.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Crows prefer carrion, so their bags are never checked at the airport.
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What’s a glow worms favourite song?
Wake me up before you glow glow!
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
Why did the deer go for a run?
To doe off some steam.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
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