How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
You are really talented. You should join a punk-croc band.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog legs?
No, I always walk this way.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
What do you call an electrically charged seal?
A seal ion.
How do you save a drowning mouse ?
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation !
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only 2. They'll fit.
What is a koala’s favorite Christmas carol? Deck the halls with boughs of holly, koala-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!!!
Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snow bank!
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
I have the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Where do pigs learn about magic?
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
What side does the zebra have the most stripes on?
The outside.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
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