What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
Why are owls so good at math?
They excel at owlgebra.
What did the lion say to his cubs when he was first teaching them how to hunt? Don’t cross the road until you see the zebra crossing!
Q: What do you call a French guy being mauled by a tiger?
A: Claude.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver.
My dog loves poetry.
Especially William Shakes-paw.
What happens when you buy a dog from the blacksmith?
When he gets home he’ll make a bolt for the door.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
Have you heard about the gorilla who got a name change?
Peaches the gorilla escaped from the zoo, but when they got him back they had to change it because it turns out he had become an Ape Re-caught.
When it’s raining, a turtle goes to a shell-ter.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Why don’t penguins fly?
They are not tall enough to be pilots.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? Her shadow!
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
How did the little koala bear stop the movie? She hit the paws button.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
Q. How do you make a sasquatch, a yeti, or a bigfoot laugh?
A. Tell it a gorilla joke!
What do koalas do when they see social injustice happening in the world? They fight for ekoalaty!
What is a rabbit’s favorite dance? The bunny hop.
What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business? Try Sara's Tops
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
They always squeal.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What did the puppy say to his mum?
I woof you.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
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