Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
My wife was describing the pair of Toucans the zoo recently acquired.
I responded "You mean a four-can?"
Flamingos are known by a different name when they dress up to go out – they call themselves glamingos.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo? A Bronco-saurus!
What did the queen bee say to the naughty bee? Beehive yourself.
You can always find the little cows eating lunch inside the calf-etiria.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Tigers are bad at basketball because they have only four feet.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?
Dirty looks from the mouse!
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it's a male. If she runs it's a female.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
Don't worry, bee happy!
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gater.
A beaver asked his fellow beavers to hurry up and said, "Water you waiting for, make haste."
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?
An eggroll.
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
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