What do you call it when a marsupial tricks you?
A kanga-ruse.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
What do you call two octopuses that look alike?
I-tentacle twins!
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
A detective recently came into town to visit the new sushi restaurant
He heard there was a fishy business.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite drink?
A juice pouch.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
Whatever floats your goat.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you give a sick snake?
Asp-rin.
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Because her children weren’t that bright !
Why couldn't the squirrel eat the macadamia nut?
It was one tough nut to crack.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What can one parrot do?
Not as much as toucan.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
Making puns ha?
Toucan play that game.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What always succeeds? A toothless parrot! (sucks seeds)
What kind of photos do turtles take?
Shell-fies.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What happens if an owl doesn't wash?
It smells fowl.
What do you call a cat teacher? A purr-fessor
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Where do parrots get away on holiday? To the beak!
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Wolfs are named after lots of things around and about them. For instance, lumberjack wolfs are known as timber wolfs.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite holiday?
A. Ape-ril Fools Day!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What does the queen bee of every hive tell their workers to do?
She tells them to bee productive.
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