Why should you never fight a Gorilla?
They know king kong fu.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
Where do cats go when they lose their tail? A re-tail store!
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
What do you call a fish that floats on the surface?
Bob.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
Did you hear about the birds of prey who opened up a resort?
It was for owl seasons.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Why was there a troop of gorillas protesting outside the biscuit factory?
They wanted to stop the production of animal crackers.
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk? Dirty looks from the mouse!
What was the turkey suspected of? Fowl play.
What’s black and white and as hard as a rock?
A panda that’s fallen in cement.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
What does a frog order in Mcdonald's?
French flies and a diet croak.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal? Dino- score!
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
If you ever own a koala as a pet, make sure you can keep track of it by putting a koalar around its neck.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
Why do tigers always hunt and eat their prey raw? Because they don't know how to cook it.
Go to BabaMail
