Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
What do zebras hold?
Ze boobs.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What did the cat say when it saw something scary? That freaks meowt!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
What did the lollipop lady say to the zebra crossing?
'You're stripping me of a job.'
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
Why do fish like worms?
Fish like worms because they’re hooked on them.
What do you get when you cross a pig and superman?
The Man of Squeal.
Why did the koala get fired from his job?
Because he would only do the bear minimum.
How can you tell which end of a worm is which? Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs.
Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
Why do worms taste like chewing gum?
Because they’re wrigleys!
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What does a Triceratops sit on? Its Tricera-bottom.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Why did the worm leave the Apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs
What do a tree and a bog dog have in common?
They both have a lot of bark.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why are flamingos such good patients?
They’re used to wading.
Flamingos are pretty daring birds. They like just about anything, as long as it’s eggs-citing.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Who would win a game of hide and seek between a dalmatian and a tiger? The tiger because he wouldn't be spotted.
Two European frogs discuss their ancestry
"So, are you a complete french frog?"
"No. I'm a tad-pole."
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
Because they have two left feet.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
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