Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
What did the dolphin say to its friend who wouldn’t stop lying?
Stop spouting nonsense!
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What kind of croc hangs out in back passages around town?
An Alley-gator.
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
She was no spring chicken.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors? Because she had no guts!
What do you call a white crow?
A caw-casian.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
Have you heard about the new book all about flamingos? Apparently it’s flying off the shelves.
How does a horse tow its trailer?
With a Ford Bronco.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What came first, the alligator or the crocodile?
The dinosaur.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
At What Time Does A Duck Wake Up?
At the quack of dawn.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you call a werewolf who doesn't know he's a werewolf ?
Unawarewolf.
I just got an adorable baby goat, but it can’t bend its legs.
The vet said it’s a cute kid knee disorder.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What do you call two rabbits racing down the road? The fast and the furriest.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
The favourite day of the week for wolves is moonday.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain? A Stegosaur-rust
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