How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
Where does a bee use the bathroom?
BP
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong? Mistaken bacon.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Q. What happens when a gorilla has a melt down?
A. He goes absolutely bananas!
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on a snail this morning. You should of seen him, he looked genuinely crushed.
Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them, they’d break.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo? Hop on!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What does a workhorse like to drink?
A Moscow Mule.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
Who is a snake’s favorite actor?
Humphrey Boa-gart.
How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm? it has a blue light.
A worm child comes home. It sees mom and asks: "Mom, have you seen dad?"
Mom says: "Dad went fishing with the guys."
What do confused owls say?
Too-whit-to-why?
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth?
A mechanic.
What do you call an ant who doesn’t smell anymore?
Deodor-ant.
Goat milk?
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
Q. How do the doe and stag open the entry to their vacation cabin in the woods?
A. They just turn the deer knob.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
A beaver's experience in college deep-ends on if they go to the best university.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
A lion would never cheat on its wife.
But a Tiger wood.
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
I got in a fight with a crab yesterday.
When I punched him he ran, goon.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
Where do crows type? Crows type on cawmputers.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
What do you call a tiger who always gets the same grades as one other person? A tie-ger.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What has four legs, four eyes, and a net? Four pirates looking for a lost parrot!
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