I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Which are the best mathematicians amongst the snake family?
The adders.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
Why was the deer a good driver? He was great at using the deering wheel!
What do you call luggage made of snakeskin?
Ex-hiss baggage.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
Today my son drew a picture of a kangaroo without a body.
I couldn't make heads or tails of it.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow.
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside
Bee warned.
Bee puns really sting.
What’s the name of the rabbit who stole from the rich and gave to the poor? Rabbit Hood.
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What is a dog’s favorite book?
Harry Paw-ter and the Sorcerer’s Bone.
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What do cats build to prepare for war? Cat-apults.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you say when your horse proposes to your other horse?
Call the marrier!
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
We were all sturtled by the incoming news.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
What do turtles do when one of them has a birthday?
They have a shell-ebration.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
What is the first thing that gorillas learn at kindergarten?
Apey Cee's?
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Why can't college professors take exams at a zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Why did the horse go to jail?
The prosecutors failed to show the burden of hoof.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
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