What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
What is small, has a long tail and works with the police?
A gerbil shepherd dog!
What’s striped and goes round and round?
A tiger in a revolving door.
Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
If you ever need directions, call for a navi-gator.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What do cats wear to bed? Paw-jamas.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
I recently took a trip to Alaska. We ate at a fancy restaurant where the chef made us an amazing meal from native animals and vegetables we helped forage. I asked if he had ever had whale blubber or seal meat.
He said "nah, I’m not really Inuit."
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What is the difference between a deer nut and a beer nut?
“A beer nut is often more than a buck but a deer nut is always under a buck.”
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What’s gray, squeaky and hangs around in caves?
Stalagmice!
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What kind of camel throws a hissy fit when you milk it?
A drama dairy.
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
Where do otters keep their money? In the river bank!
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
I once had a conversation with a dolphin.
We just clicked.
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Q. What do biologists call an insane stag that's out running amok?
A. Deer-ranged.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
What do you give a panda when it is sick?
Pandadol.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the buffalo said.
"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs bunny
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
I wanted to catch a squirrel but I didn't know how.
So I decided to climb a tree and act like a nut.
What would you call a jellyfish combat veteran?
A man o' war.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
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