How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
Dogs can’t operate an MRI machine… but catscan.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
The Cluck o’the Irish!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Something’s goat to give.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
What is a koala’s favorite exercise?
Bearobics.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
What did the horse say when it saw a sheepdog?
“Why is your furlong?”
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
What do you get when you cross a sloth and a Scottish rock band? Slow Patrol.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
What do you call for injured ants?
The ant-bulance.
What did the fawn say to warn her friend about the haunted house?
“Don’t go deer!”
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
Why don't turkeys like math?
Because when they added three to five...
They got Ate.
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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?
Enough drumstics for a month.
What do you call a talking kangaroo?
A quantum leap.
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale.
How do you know when a cephalopod has been using your toilet?
Squid marks.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a leaf blower? A hare dryer!
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
Who’s a llama’s favorite actor?
Al Pacacino.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ? In the dark!
How do mares keep track of their boyfriends?
A stud book.
Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? Because they wouldn't take a bath!
Whale, whale, whale…
If it isn’t a pod.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Q. Which deer was a fascist dictator?
A. Moose Al Ini.
What has 80 teeth and 2 eyes ?
A crocodile.
What do you call a mouse who can pick up a horse? Sir!
What do you call a sad pup?
A mellon collie
Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
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