Why are rabbits so lucky? They have four rabbit’s feet.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What is a giraffe’s favorite fruit?
Necktarines.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ? Any kind! A house cannot jump!
Why couldn’t the little girl ride the horse?
It was feeling bucky.
Looking after more than one elephant at a time requires the ability to multi-tusk.
What do your call a dinosaur with one eye? Eye-saur.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth!
I got an email today saying I could win $10,000 in a fishing competition.
But I'm sure there's a catch involved somewhere.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
How do pink birds make friends? They fla-mingle.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president?
It was a huge end-horse-ment.
Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea-weed.
What do you call a bird that can fix anything?
Duck Tape.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
My neighbor had way too many dogs.
It’s safe to say that he had a Rover-dose.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
Why did the owl 'owl?
Because the Woodpecker would peck 'er.
Why did the squirrel take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
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