Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area.
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
I said some stubtly racist stuff to a magpie
She was a victim of my crow aggressions.
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
Tony the tiger ate both of my grandmother's parents.
Tearfully, I asked him why. He just looked at me and said, "They're GREAT!"
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears one more beaver joke for you.
These ideas are too shellow, they won’t be of any help.
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why did the bunny bang his head on the piano? He was playing by ear!
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
What did the horse reply when asked if it would try water polo?
“I would dapple.”
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks.
I better watch my ass.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
The baby beaver sang a song about the river in a video for his friends. He had a good flow.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
What advice did the grandpa pig have for his kids?
“Don’t take anything for grunted.”
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Where do fish go to watch movies?
At the dive-in.
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
What style of classical music do sheep most enjoy?
Baa-roque
How could you tell the horse gained weight?
It had extra girth.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Have you heard the joke about the giraffe’s neck?
Let me warn you, it’s a long one.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Who makes dinosaur clothes? dino-sewer.
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Why don’t rabbits get hot in the summertime? They have hare conditioning!
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