What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
What is a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring!
Anything unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What sickness do cowboys get from riding wild horses?
Bronchitis.
What do ducks get after they eat?
A bill.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.
I entered my pig into a pig race but he pulled a ham string.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What does Harry Potter use when sealing packages?
His Parceltongue.
Why can’t you screw with whales?
because they hump back.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
My pet parrot, Nickel, just passed away.
Now I have a Nickel-less cage.
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?
An animal that talks your head off.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Why did the fish blush?
Because it saw the ocean's bottom.
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What are unsolved murders called when it happens in a society of crows? Murder mysteries.
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
When you cross a sheep and a wolf, you will end up with a new sheep, you can’t make such a costly mistake with wolves.
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
What’s black and white, has four legs and a trunk?
Two pandas on holiday.
What do gorillas and orangutans wear in the kitchen?
Ape-rons.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Why did the bunny cross the road? He wanted to prove he could hip hop!
A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks: “Is this stool taken?”
Q. What can a buck take after a night of drinking at a stag party?
A. Elk-a-seltzer.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth? Bronto-swore-us.
Why did the piglet yell at his sibling at the dinner table?
She was hogging all the food!
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