Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
A spider called a tech support office.
He needed help connecting to the web.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
Would you mind watching my pet parrot while I’m out, as long as it’s not too much of a birden?
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What is a cat’s favorite TV show? The evening mews.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
The mossbacks could not connect with the new developments, so the bill was hot
down at the senate.
When you swat a mosquito on your arm
Its death is in vein.
Why did they let the turkey join the band? Because he had the drumsticks
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
How do you upset a dinosaur? Touchasaurus Spot.
What’s the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!
Q: Why do the tiger not attack the farm?
A: He was a little bit sheepish.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak? Mouse code!
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
I sprayed a mosquito with mosquito repellent.
Now it has no friends.
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
My wife and I are very competitive, but when it came to flamingo impersonation, I didn't stand a chance
She had a leg up the whole time.
I just had a pint of kangaroo beer
It was a bit too hoppy for me
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxi cabs.
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
Wondering what crows wear during Halloween, well, they wear caw-stumes.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Q. Which kind of deer has a serious drinking problem?
A. The elk-oholic.
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
"Put it on my bill."
Why was the penguin so annoying?
Because he was always fishing for complements.
Did you hear about the party at the Chinese zoo?
It was Panda-monium.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
What do you call a mouse that doesn't eat, drink, or even walk? A computer mouse.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
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