What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What does a squirrel wear on its feet?
Cashews
How many limbs does an alligator have?
It all depends on what he ate for lunch, dinner and breakfast.
What do you call a flying elephant?
A jumbo jet.
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
What do fish use to weigh themselves?
Scales!
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What was the worm doing in the cornfield?
He was going in one ear and out the other!
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
Which fish go to heaven when they die?
Angelfish.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
Why did the beaver cross the river? To get to the other side of the river.
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good?
She mane-tains it.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
Why do dogs run in circles?
Because it’s hard to run in a square.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
What is a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
Why do Otters swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
What do you call a kangaroo that asks for seconds on ramen?
A more-soupial
How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise, particularly hareobics!
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because all of the cows have horns
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
My dog loves Star Wars.
His favorite character is Chew-bark-a.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Why did the deer get braces?
He had buck teeth.
What did the Easter Bunny say to its partner? We make one egg-celllent couple.
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
How do you circumcise a whale?
You send down four skin divers.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
Why don’t koalas like fast food? Because it’s too hard for them to catch.
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