Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?
Konnichihuahua.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
Crows, they just love sports, crow-quet to be precise.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
To whom did the squirrel go to seek out his fortune.
Nutradamus.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Hop-scotch (or leapfrog).
What do you get if you cross a wasp with a doorbell?
A hum-dinger!
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
How do pigs write top secret messages?
With invisible oink!
What does a cow put on his French toast?
Moooolasses.
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese!
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Why did the bee get married?
She found her honey.
What kind of dog keeps everything they own?
A hoarder collie.
Why do owls always by mystery novels?
They love hoo-dunits.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
Why was the conservative buffalo disappointed in his child?
He was a bison.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What do you call a frog with no back legs?
Unhoppy.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
Where do dogs go after the their tails fall off?
The re-tail store.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
What does the mouse say to its mate? "Were like crackers and cheese"
What do you get if you cross a talking parrot with a gorilla?
I am not sure but if he says something you better damn well listen.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
It’s really easy to send a nice card to a flamingo. You just write “Hope you have a flamingood…”
According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
Why would a horse make a good president?
They know how to lead.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What do you call a famous turtle?
A shell-ebrity.
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
Where do penguins go to dance?
The snow ball!
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
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