Whoever lives by the sword shell die by it.
What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?
Her pet-degree.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
To keep their nuts dry.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Where does a 2,000 pound gorilla sit?
Anywhere it wants to.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
How do the crows in Texas greet each other?
Yee-caw
Heard about the devoted beaver who crossed the turbulent river? He took a leap of faith!
What do 99 percent of pigs ask for on their hamburgers? Piggles.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
What do you drive in a river? An otter-mobile.
Why did the chicken go to the zoo?
To get to the otter slide.
What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ? Cheer him up!
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What do you call a dog from the Wild West?
Clint Eastwoof.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
How do you measure the circumference of a Sheep?
Shepherds Pie
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
What do you call an alligator who’s your friend?
A pal-igator.
What do you call a guy who believes in ethical treatment of spiders?
Peta Parker.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
What is a grandma sheep called?
A baaaa-nana
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
The group of beavers loved the river because it has a really bubbly personality.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
What is the deer’s favorite food group?
“Deer-y products!”
My friend’s parrot lost his beak in a fan accident and he wanted to find a prosthetic. I sent him to my Uncle Tony.
He fits the bill.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
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