How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ? The door won't close!
Flamingos are great at social events; they flamingle really well.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
Crows go, listen, perform, and enjoy live music, at cawnsorts.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What kind of musical instrument do mice play?
A mouse organ!
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Where do dolphin races end?
Dolphinish line!
On Halloween night a group of crows decided to enact a scene from the play Julius Ceaser, they were enacting the caw-nspiracy scene.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
Why wasn't the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You're only allowed one carrion.
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What did the zoologist and the herbalist name their child? Tiger Woods.
What do horses eat with their salad? Dressage-ing.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
Why did Jesus ask Judas to crave the turkey?
Beause he knows he likes stabbing others in the back.
There was a fight at the fish restaurant last night.
Two haddock got battered.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
My dog is very poor.
He can’t afford a “woof” over his head.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?
Because he couldn’t stop saying “ruff ruff”.
The good pony apologized to the tiger at the zoo for his sore throat, he said: "I am sorry, I am a little horse."
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
What do you get if you cross a new born snake with a basketball?
A bouncing baby boa.
What do you call a sloth that barely moves a muscle? A slow-off (show off).
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
What sits in a tree and says "Hoots mon, hoots mon?"
A Scottish owl.
Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?
Because its head is so far from its body.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
Did you hear the gossip about the owl who hooked up with his boss?
I won’t tell you hoo.
What kind of turkey grows on a tree? Poultry.
Why are goats from France musical?
Because they have French horns.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
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