What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia were visiting Australia.
Unfortunately, one day they got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and eaten by a pair of crocodiles.
The female ate the Frenchman.
The Czech was in the male.
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
The hipster beaver denied swimming in the river. He said it was too main-stream.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
Bugs bunny.
There is a rule that cats can shed hair on anything in the house… It is called fur-niture for a reason!
What is a koala’s favorite pop singer? Koala Rae Jepsen. Her most popular song? “Koala Me Maybe”.
Some pink birds can be really rude. I approached a group of them the other day and they screamed “Flamingo away!”
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Because they got turtle recall, turtles never forget.
What do jellyfish and a girl after prom night have in common?
They can't be deboned.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus? Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
What eats laptops? Computer worms.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
Flamingos do annoy each other sometimes. Apparently this is because they enjoy ruffling feathers.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
What is good at maths and related to a crocodile?
A calcu-gator
What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur? Hello, hello!
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
How do winged horses walk if they become pirates?
Peg-asus legs.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
Who did the goats vote for as president?
Billy Clinton.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
What does a skunk’s car run on?
Fumes.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
Why did the pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a boar.
How can you tell which rabbits are getting old? Look for the grey hares.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
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