The big cat was known around town to wear a lot of funky ties. Everyone called him the tie-ger.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
What do you call an evil cow?
De-mooooon.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
My dog won’t get off the PlayStation He’s been playing Fi-fur all day.
Whenever I go to a zoo, I only ever see dogs.
They were Shiht-zus.
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
What has 4 wheels and flies?
Garbage truck
What do you get if you put an alligator in a blender?
Gatorade.
What do you call a monkey in a minefield?
A baboom.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Which dinosaur is pure evil? Daemonosaurus.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
What kind of dinosaur works for the police? A trisara-cop.
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
What’s the scariest koala movie ever made? The Bear Witch Project.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
How do you find zebra?
Look under zeshirt.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell?
Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Her: "Buffalo meat is delicious. What are they made of? Beef?"
Me: "No... They're made of buff."
What did one beached whale say to the other beached whale?
Long time no sea.
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go on in pairs.
What did the kangaroo say about the man who kidnapped her joey?
Stop that pick-pocket!
Which side of a koala bear has the most fur? The outside!
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
Why was the doctor’s favorite patient a cat? Because she has nine lives!
Why shouldn’t you tell an owl your secrets?
They’re always talon everyone.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
Which condiment is a mouse’s favourite?
Mouse-tard.
Who was the greatest dog detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
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