Calling my new dog “Shark” was a mistake.
I’ve been banned from all my local beaches.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
That alligator took great photos, he was a bit of a snapper.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Scientists transformed a tiger into a horse.
Don't worry, it's in a stable condition.
What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
Bacon and Legs.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite movie?
A. Planet of the Apes.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach?
A pythong.
When we cross a deer and a mouse, what would we get?
“Mickey Moose!”
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
What's the difference between an otter and a navy aircrewman?
At least the otter knows he's not a seal.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
Where do Russians get their milk?
From Mos-cows.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night?
They get told a tail.
Why was the cow so scared?
Because he was a cow-ard.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck... It was a camel tow
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
How do you draw flies?
With a pencil!
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
Why did the panda’s joke suck?
It was unbearable.
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
What do bees call wasps?
Wanna-bees.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
Why don't crabs donate to charity?
They're shellfish penny pinchers.
How did Gertie Gorilla win the beauty contest? She was the beast of the show!
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
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