What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
My son wanted a pet spider but they're to expensive.
I told him I'll get him one off the web.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What do you call a camel without humps?
Humphrey.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
I want to start a deer breeding business…
But first, I’m gonna need about 5,000 bucks.
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
How does a penguin make pancakes?
With its flippers.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
How do you measure a mosquito’s harddrive?
With bug bytes.
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
What do dinosaurs put on their pizza? Tomato-saurus
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
The Easter Bunny won’t be making his usual rounds this year. He’s laid up with a hareline fracture.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
Did you hear about the kid that ate a whole pack of candy worms?
It’s a sour tale!
What was the dog’s favorite book?
Winnie the Pooch. He loves to read a lot of story tails before bed.
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What do rodents say when they play bingo?
‘Eyes down for a full mouse’!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
An owl had a sore throat but wasn't bothered.
He couldn't give a hoot.
What do you call a bee you can't understand? A mumble bee.
Q. What do you call gorillaS who just monkey around at the gym?
A. Buff-oons
What do you call a shrimp hit by a car?
Road krill.
What does Miley Cyrus eat at Christmas? Twerk-ey!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road?
Poultry in motion.
Why did the cat keep meow-ing? It didn’t want to be fur-gotten.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
When do chickens go to bed?
Half past hen!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
What do you call a lobster that's afraid of tight spaces?
Claw-strophobic
What does Willow Smith say to her pets? I whip my hare back and forth.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Go to BabaMail
