I saw a sheep covered in plastic
It was lambinated.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
My brother was trampled to death by a flock of sheep.
May he rest in fleece.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode? What a lavaly day!
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What does a well-educated owl say?
Whom.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
I know a guy who absolutely loves his pet Parrot.
He is Polly-Amorous.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
Where do cats go when they die? Purr-gatory.
Knock Knock!
Who is there?
Water.
Water who?
Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress? Rep. Tile!
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What did the kitten say after a disaster? That was cat-astrophic
What do you call a cat that is scared of small spaces? Clawstrophobic!
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What breed of dog will laugh at any joke?
A Chi-ha-ha
I goat this.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
As soon as one beaver jumped in the river to search for his key, it got shocked, as the current was too strong.
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
That raven is so stubborn at times, he just needs to crow up.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
What is serial killer Buffalo Bill's favorite fast food restaurant?
Chick Fillet.
Did you hear about the cat who drank ten bowls of water? It set a new lap record
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
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