What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
What do goats eat?
Goatmeal.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?
Bacon and legs.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A tiiiger.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum? Because they can't afford new ones!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
How did the horse make payments?
In in-stallion-ments.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Why can’t a rooster ever get rich?
Because he works for chicken feed.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What happened to the dog who ate too much garlic?
Its bark was worse than its bite.
For waterproofing their nests, crows buy caw-king.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
Why is Pegasus so smart?
He’s all kno-wing.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels? A Stegosaurus on roller skates!
What do you call a kangaroo DJ?
Disc joey.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
Why do owl babies take after their dad?
Like feather, like son.
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
Why didn’t the lobster and crab share their lunch with an octopus?
Because they are too shellfish.
What do you call a deer wearing an explosive vest?
Bombi.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What do you call a hamster in between two slices of bread?
A ham sandwich.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
Why do pigs make awful football players?
They don’t like playing with the “pig skin.”
What did Dracula say when he saw a giraffe for the first time?
I’d like to get to gnaw you.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
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