A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What did the disappointed deer say? Oh deer!
What do cats eat on hot days?
Mice cream.
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Where did the duck go when he was sick? A:
To the ducktor.
Have you ever heard of the Poder bird?
It is also known as the Toucan
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
What is a cat’s favorite vegetable? As-purr-agus.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
What do you call an alligator who is wearing crocs on his feet?
A traitor.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
How will a crow with a cold fever sound like? Caw-ph, Caw-ph.
What is a cat’s favorite kitchen tool? The whisk-er.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
Q. What do you get if you cross a deer with an Aussie Joey?
A. A buck-er-roo.
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Where do kangaroos like to eat?
At IHOP.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
What did the baby deer say to his friend?
“I’m so fawn-d of you!”
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
Dear Turkey, don't worry... they only love us for our breasts too. Sincerely, all women.
What’s worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A centipede with athlete’s foot.
Was the koala able to complete the grueling 26-mile marathon? Bearly.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
What do you call a light-headed elephant?
An ele-faint.
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
How do fish play the drums?
With Fish Sticks.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer? Comet.
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
What’s the difference between a fly and an eagle?
An eagle can fly but a fly cannot eagle.
Why don’t kangaroos make good sailors?
Because they’re always jumping ship.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs.
The weather's getting colder, I really fancy some hot croc-o-late.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call an ant who joins the army?
Milit-ant.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks? More than the dinosaur.
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
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