How do you make an Octopus laugh?
With tentacles!
What do you get if you cross a dinosaur with a pig?
Jurassic Pork.
My Roomba accidentally rolled out of my front door, and the neighborhood squirrels and rabbits immediately started attacking it.
Nature abhors a vacuum.
How do you make a glow worm happy?
Cut off his tail, he’ll be de-lighted!
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
Q. What is a gorilla's favorite toy?
A. A bab-boom-orang.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a Spanish Goat with no hind legs?
Gracias
I used to know two birds who excelled in ballet...
They were two toucans.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What is the lesser-known sport used to measure a horse’s singing ability?
Carol racing.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
A honey bee lands on a flower but is quickly kicked off by the spider living there. Perturbed, he flies away and lands on a different flower...
It was a cross pollination.
What happened when the koala tripped and fell in a crowded restaurant? He got embearassed.
How do you say farewell to a very optimistic insect?
Buoyant!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-Day.
Jellyfish and peanut butterare sea turtles favorite sandwich.
What’s a llama’s favorite movie?
Alpacalypse Now.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
When does a Koala go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
It’s easy to spot a sad flamingo. They get really blue.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
How do gorillas get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because all his uncles were ants.
Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk? To hatchet.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
I would rather breed mice than crows
Mischief is one thing, but I don't think I can pull off a murder.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do you call a horse on a boat attached to land?
Docked.
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