Why was the crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed.
What's the best way to stuff a turkey? Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Why was the crow upset about his job? The HR fired the crow with no caws.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don't want to be spotted.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you call a cold, angry pig? A ham-brr-grr.
A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
What do cows sing at their friend’s birthday parties?
“Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo!"
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
What do you call a stoned, dyslexic crow?
A hybrid
Why is it a bad idea to get in a fight with a monkey?
Because they use gorilla warfare.
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented? A Model T-Rex.
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
I gave my wife that new gorilla glue chapstick...🦍💄
It left her speechless
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What did the married deer couple say to each other? I love you deer-ly!
What do penguins eat for lunch?
Ice-bergers!
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What happened when the pig pen broke?
They had to use the pig pencil.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
Why did the thieves kidnap the monkey?
Because they believed in gibbon take.
Why couldn’t the clownfish buy a house?
The fish could not buy a house because he didn’t have an-e-mon-e!
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Have you ever tried crossing a lion with a flamingo? It will be pink, that’s the mane thing.
What did the dog groomer say to her dentist?
I clean my canines every day.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
How do you know if it’s too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-cooked eggs.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a frog?
A Croaker Spaniel.
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