How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
When should you stop for a glow worm? When he has a red light.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What do you call a quiet sheep?
A shhhhhhh-eep.
Q. How do you describe a deer joke with a screwed up punch line?
A. Bucked up.
What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman?
Frostbite.
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
What is an owl who has been caught called?
A spotted owl.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight? He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
What is a mouse’s favorite game?
Hide and squeak!
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?
A frog with hiccups.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
What do you call a squirrel with no nuts?
A female squirrel.
The chicken farmer died under mysterious circumstances.
The police suspect fowl play.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
What do dogs say when something cool happens?
Paw-some.
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
What did the bacteria say to the bee to cheer it up?
Gram positive
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
What do you call an owl who knows how to do magic tricks?
Hoodini.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
What does a monkey wear while cooking?
An ape-ron.
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
I warned farmer Brown not to pamper that cow too much because it would wind up giving spoiled milk.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
What does a cat wear to stop smelling? Antipurrspirant!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
A Lot
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
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