What do horses get after graduating university?
A pedegree.
Never trust a flamingo unless you can be sure it has fully fledged ideas.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
What’s the spiciest way to clean a horse?
With a curry comb.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Why are cats bad at telling stories? Because they only have one tail!
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What do you call a large pile of cats? A meowntain!
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can't walk.
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What is a deer’s favorite after-school snack?
“Doe-nuts.”
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What do dehydrated alligators drink?
Gatorade.
Which Halloween treat is going to keep a crow up all night? A crowfee apple.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What side of a tiger has the most stripes? The outside.
What is a beaver's most favorite drama series ever? Riverdale.
Which frog has horns?
A bull frog.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
Why was the penguin popular?
Because he was an ice guy.
A crab didn't help his friend,
he's shellfish.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
Why was the picture of the dog sent to jail?
Because it was framed.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
How did the calf’s final exam turn out?
Grade A.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
What do you call a FISH with no Eyes? A FSH.
My sister asked me for some spider puns.
I told her to look them up on the web.
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? Rep Tiles
A slow poke is what you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine.
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Fish take Vitamin Sea to stay healthy!
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
Truth-or-deer.
The tiger ran away from other tigers as they were rude to him. He didn't want to be involved in a catfight.
What's a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
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