What happens when a cow stops shaving?
It grows a Moostache.
here do lobsters go to borrow money? The prawn broker.
Did you hear about the doctor who was practicing bee venom therapy without a license?
He was arrested in a sting operation.
What’s big and grey and wears a mask?
The elephantom of the opera.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What’s a horse’s favorite fruit?
Canterlope.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
What type of cat belongs to the baker? One that’s pure-bread
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the “G”!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
Wolves love shopping and they can literally die for. However, none of them loves the flea market for obvious reasons!
How did the shark do on his test?
Fin-Tastic!
I have so many Easter puns, it’s not even bunny.
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad sandals.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why does the horse go to school?
It brings her fulfillyment.
Why was the Whale bank heist so successful?
Because it was a whale orca-strated plan
Which city do hamsters live in?
Hamsterdam.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
How did the hammerhead do on his test?
He nailed it.
What do you call a camel that looks the same from both directions?
A palindromedary!
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
I do wonder why my flamingo friends always do so well in tests and exams. After all, they always just wing it.
No one really enjoys crying wolf. However, the boy did cry just to get a howling experience.
What goes black, white, black, white, black, white?
A panda rolling down a hill.
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?
To get to the other tide.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
I thought of premeditated murder and a flash mob of crows came to my mind.
What did the crow decide to dress up as on Halloween? As a scarecrow.
What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?
Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
Goat milk?
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
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