Accidentally ran over a French seal today .
Phoque.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Elephants will toil all day, and they work for peanuts.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
A crow was arrested under suspicion of murder. The case was closed, as the judge said he had just caws.
Who is the worm's Prime Minister? Maggot Thatcher.
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What’s an elephant’s favorite sport?
Squash.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Who has better beer: Rabbits or Kangaroos?
Kanagaroos. While they both do great with the hops, Kangaroos just have a little more kick!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
Why are crows so interesting?
Just beCAWse
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Who called it a goat petting zoo...
and not Close Encounters of the Herd Kind?
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes? Out of the way!
What do you call a man who is too big for an alligator to eat?
A jawbreaker.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
Q. What's on display at the Canadian Moose Museum?
A. Mod deer 'n art.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
I heard someone broke out of prison using a sheep
I didn’t believe it until I saw the news and he was on the lamb.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
What did one crow say to the other after the party?
We were raven.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
What does the parrot get at the end of a restaurant meal? The bill!
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fishually impaired.
What did the deer say when her crush told her a joke?
“You are doe funny!”
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole? Cold.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
What did the train conductor say to the kangaroo?
“Hop on!”
Where do Santa Claus and his deers stop to have a coffee at Christmas?
“Star – Bucks!”
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
Go to BabaMail
