What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Did you hear about the two silkworms that were in a race? They wound up in a tie.
What do you call an turkey with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do dogs eat for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
Why did the pig go to the casino?
To play the slop machine!
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
What do Penguins sing on a birthday?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What did the Australian cowboy charge for kangaroo rides?
A Buckaroo
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What do you call someone who tells too many dinosaur jokes?
A dino-bore.
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito? An otter fortune cookie
When you cross a wolf and Fred Astaire, you get dances with wolves.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do you call an owl dressed in armor?
A knight owl.
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What was the scariest prehistoric animal? The Terror-dactyl!
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
Why don't crabs give birthday presents?
Because they're just shellfish.
Did you heard about the zombie crow? He wants to eat your grains.
What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
A muslim woman wanted to adopt a gorilla. Her husband wouldn't allow it.
He said, that's haram, bae.
What did Mama pig ask her kids every day after school?
“Hoofeels hungry?”
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What’s a hen’s favorite type of movie?
A chick flick.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What did the deer write in his journal every day? Deer diary.
Where do flies go for a holiday?
Flywaii.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
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