Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
What does a horse call its treats?
My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live?
In rad-docks.
Beavers are the best at getting things done on riverbanks. They have their own waves of working.
Where do monkeys go when they lose their tails?
To a retailer.
What do you call a Pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What type of cat will keep your garden looking nice and tidy? A lawn meower.
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
Their engagement is yet to be made offishell.
What did the squirrel say when his tail got caught in the door?
...It won’t be long now!
What did the father squirrel tell his son?
Acorny joke.
Why are ducks bad drivers?
Their windshields are qwacked.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
What do you call an italian mosquito?
Malario.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
Q. What haapens if a gorilla sits on your piano?
A. You get a flat note.
What do you call a monkey at the North Pole?
Lost.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
You have goat to be kidding me.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
What did the wife beaver say to her astronaut husband? You are otter this world.
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?
A jellyfish. That’s a no-brainer.
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a rabbit? A chili dog on a bun!
I tried asking some beavers to help me build my house. They didn’t give a dam.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
Ant-ten-eye.
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Where do owls go on their honeymoon?
Their love nest.
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 meters long?
A pi-thon.
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
Why should you be careful not to insult a crocodile?
It may come back to bite you in the butt.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
A beaver's tail makes them look odd.
But without it they would look otter.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad.
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