What is a deer’s favorite meal?
Deer-ner!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor? Dino-sore!
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
What is the most affordable type of meat that we would purchase?
“Dear balls because they are always under a buck.”
The public investigated a box full of crows because it was a murder case.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
Why did the cat get fined? He was caught littering
What does Spider-man become when he joins the circus?
an aracnobat.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What do koalas use when they’re doing yard work? A wheelbearow.
What kind of fish do you find in a bird cage?
A perch!
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why do pandas have fur coats?
Because they’d look stupid in denim jackets.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
Windscreen vipers.
Why do fish not like computers?
Because they are worried about getting caught in the Inter-net.
How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
With a golf carp,
Hermit crabs’ house phones were always shell phones
My two pet crabs have very different personalities. One is always in a good mood, but the other can be a bit of a grump.
Their names are crabA and crabB
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
A local farmer has trained his pigs to perform ballet.
I’m going to see their production of swine lake.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
What happens when a duck flies upside down?
It quacks up.
Why was the beaver not arrested when he jumped into the Nile? Because he was a juve'nile.
I just saw a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center.
I think it must be a busking shark.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
I bought a bunny because everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
Why did the dolphin blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
Turtles love taking shell-fies.
How do you catch an electric eel?
You can catch an electric eel with a lightning rod!
If a lamb and tiger were crossed, you would end up with a striped sweater.
What do you call a fish with a tie?
Sofishticated!
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Q. How do you describe the inate behavior of a new mother deer?
A. Doe-ting
Did you hear about the extremely serious gorilla?
He didn't monkey around.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Did you hear what happened to the Energizer Bunny? He got arrested for Battery.
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