What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do cats do after watching a play? Give a round of a-paws.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What's it called when a buffalo turns two hundred years old?
A Bisontennial!
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasabee?"
Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
What’s black, dangerous and hides in trees?
A crow with a machine gun.
Once you've seen one Lion eat a Giraffe...
You've seen a maul!
Some people like to play croc-quet.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
Why did the firefighters bring a dog along with them?
To help them find the nearest fire hydrant.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What did one glow worm said to the other one?
You glow girl!
Do you know where you take a sick squid?
To the doctopus.
Today I went to the bee store
And I wanted 12 bee's but when I checked out the cashier gave me 13 and I asked him why he gave me 13 instead of 12 and he said it was a free bee.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
Slothy seconds
What did the deer say to his friend during their night in the woods?
This is so much fawn!
What do crows drink in order to stay awake? They drink cawfee.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Where do fish stay on a campsite?
Fish stay in tentacles while they are camping!
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
My lobster's name is:
Claude
What should you name a crow with soft down feathers? Microwsoft.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What did the llama say when the other llama asked if they wanted to go on holiday?
Alpaca suitcase.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables? A.brocileasoarus
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Did you hear about the crab who went to a seafood disco?
He pulled a mussel.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
What does a French beaver call his dam? Ma'dame.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What did the bunny say to its crush? Hey there hop stuff.
What do worms leave round their baths?
The scum of the earth!
What does a deer call a hunter?
“Doe foes.”
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What is it when one cow spies on another cow?
A steak out.
What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
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