A zoo owner introduced his tiger to the visitors by saying "this is the most paw-some tiger at the zoo".
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What is a seals favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you get when you cross two fish with two elephants?
A pair of swimming trunks.
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Why do ants work so hard?
They are all serv-ants.
What do you call someone who always takes pictures of their dog?
A pup-arazzi.
What did Homer Simpson say when he saw a female deer?
“Doe!”
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.
I would never armadillo.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What says “Quick, Quick”?
A duck with the hiccups
Why are parrots the life of the party? Every day is their bird-day!
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
You get as far away as possible.
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
What do you call an elephant that never washes?
A smelly-phant.
If you have a bee in your hand, what do you have in your eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
Which bird is the most contented? The crow, because he never complains without caws.
What is one of the big tiger's most favorite hangout places? A shopping maul.
What did the guard say to stop the horse from escaping?
Halt-her!
A priest, a rabbit and a deacon walk into a blood bank.
"I think I might be a type o." said the rabbit.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python? A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Why was the crow on the telephone wire? To make a long-distance caw.
Why isn't the the koala a real bear? He doesn't have the right koalifications.
How does a shark greet a fish?
Pleased to eat you.
What would you hear at a cow concert?
Moo-sic.
How do you catch a monkey?
Climb a tree and act like a banana.
What’s a goat’s favorite musical?
Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dream Goat.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What happened when the kid got confused with beavers and coypus in the exam? He said, " I otter know better."
Do you know why the beaver was found guilty?
Because the prosecutor had damming evidence.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
What do you name a synthetic parrot?
PollyEster
What do you call a panda who’s lost his dinner?
Bamboozled.
What do you call a group of dyslexic crows?
A redrum.
How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ? One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What did the panda say when he was forced out of his natural habitat?
This is un-bear-able.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a happy penguin?
a Pen-Grin!
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
Why are horses so good at the shooting range?
They’re hunters.
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