What did the pig say on the warm summer’s day?
“I’m bacon.”
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
What did the Dalmatian say when he finished his meal?
That really hit the spot.
Why did the lion cross the road? Because he saw a zebra-crossing...
What is a cat’s favorite deal? Buy one, get one furry.
Are Jellyfish sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish?
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Why did the tiger eat the tightrope walker?
It wanted a balanced diet.
What type of bread do deers enjoy the most?
“Sour-doe!”
What do you call a SWAT team of alligators?
Gator-raid.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?
Squeaky clean!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
What do you get if cross a turtle with a giraffe and a kangaroo?
A turtle-neck jumper.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
Why do mice need oiling?
Because they squeak!
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What do you call a group of crows flying over a couple?
A murder over love.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
A giant fly has attacked the local police...
Police have called SWAT team.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
Where do cows go on vacation?
Moo York.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Cows wear bells around their necks because it is moooo-sic to the farmer’s ears.
What happened when the bear applied at the movie theater?
He was told he was not koala-fied.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What do you get when you cross an owl with an oyster?
Pearls of wisdom.
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
Who does a fish call when his piano breaks?
The piano tuna!
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What fish only swims at night?
A starfish.
What do you call a mosquito with a turbo?
A bug-hati.
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
What do you get if you stand between two llamas?
Llamanated.
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
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