Before the Koalaville basketball team can play for the national championship, they have to make it through the koalafying rounds.
There’s a new dish out; it’s a cross between a cake and a bird. They call it a Flan-ingo.
What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot? A carrot!
A mosquito asks for a date: "I'd like to take you out to suck blood on someones leg"
She says "I don't know, I feel like I'm going out on a limb here."
How do you stop your dog from barking in your front yard?
Put him in your backyard.
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
What is the definition of a slug? A snail with a housing problem!
Why did the horse never get cold?
It was a Dutch warmblood.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
I nearly kicked my dog out, but we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
Why don’t monkeys play cards in the jungle?
Because there are too many cheetahs.
What does a Clydesdale say when you offer them a carrot?
“Of course, my horse.”
What dinosaur is always sad? Cryalotosaurus
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
When a dinosaur gets a goal in a soccer tournament, it is known as a dino-score.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
A chap sees a zebra sitting on a seat beside him in the cinema eating popcorn. He says “what are you doing here?” The zebra says, “well, I enjoyed the book”.
Who was the criminal crow running from? The cawps.
What do pigs learn in the army? Ham to ham combat.
Why did the Koala cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
I like you, you croc my world.
How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? By the dinosnores.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What did one beaver say to the other at the river? Dam it.
What do you feed a 700 pound gorilla?
Just give him anything he wants and then run.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What did the crow said when it saw a car coming? Cawr.
What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What do you call a kangaroo that’s exhausted from trespassing?
Out of bounds.
What did the baby goat say to his father?
I kid you not.
What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son? If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?
Really lost. (Penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere)!
Q. Which US city holds the record for suicidal gorillas jumping off skyscrapers?
A. Fall-Adelphia.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
What do chickens study in school?
Eggonomics.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What’s the difference between a greyhound station and a lobster with a boob job?
One’s a crusty bus-station, the other’s a busty crustacean.
A group of crows is usually called a 'murder.' Technically, it's only a manslaughter unless there is probable caws.
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
What do you call a monkey who can’t keep a secret?
A blab-boon.
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