What did the rabbit say to its wife? No bunny compares to you.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Why couldn’t the cat read a book? He was il-litter-ate!
What birds should you recycle?
Toucans.
Why did the duck cross the road?
He was tied to the chicken.
How did the beaver introduce his wife? This is my significant otter.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What did the cow who barged the other cow say?
Moo-ve!
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
Which dance will a chicken not do?
The foxtrot.
Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
Because talk is cheep.
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.
The were working at cross porpoises.
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Which birds go to church a lot?
Birds of pray.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
My husband was allergic to my cat so I knew I had to get rid of him… so I’m looking to rehome Gerry, he’s thirty-five and works in accounting!
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
Why did the advertising tycoons hire a bunch of apes?
They were running a gorilla marketing campaign.
What did the Inuit say to to Englishman After he wanted some seal?
"I've got Nunavut."
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
What did the dog say when he had a bad day?
Today has been ruff.
My pet turtle died.
I'm not upset - just shell-shocked.
What do you get when you cross a chicken with a Martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial.
A rare black tiger is spotted in India
Everywhere else it has stripes.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
Is chicken soup good for your health?
Not if you’re the chicken.
Why did the two boa constrictors get married?
Because they had a crush on each other.
I bought my rabbit a fancy new hutch. But he doesn’t seem to carrot all.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
A werewolf that is confused on what to wear is not a dumb one, instead it is a what-to-wear-wolf.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
What is a koala’s favorite soft drink? Koka-Koala, of course!
It was reported that a tiger recently exploded in the forest fire. They say it was a Royal Bang-al Tiger.
How does a Pegasus ask her boyfriend to propose?
She says “You’ve got to put a wing on it.”
Where do you take a sick pony?
To the horse-pital.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What happened when 100 hares got loose on Main Street? The police had to comb the area.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
Go to BabaMail
