What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in morse code!
I asked a beaver out on a date. The beaver replied: “Gnaw.” I said: “Dam.”
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
How can a camel walk the desert without getting hungry? Because of all the sandwhiches there.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
If you want to name a smart pig, name him Cunningham.
Crows love Cawnie Chung, their favorite reporter.
What do you get when you cross an alligator and a crocodile.
A funeral.
If you see a deer without antlers acting crazy, don’t eat it without cooking it first.
Everyone knows you can’t eat raw kooky doe.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
What did the river say to the beaver? You look so tide'y.
What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Dracowla.
What kind of car do fancy horses drive?
Mustangs.
What do you use to get paint off a snake?
Serpentine.
Why did the giant ape climb up the side of the skyscraper?
Because the elevator was broken.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What do you call a pig with skin problems? A wart-hog.
What's green and hangs from trees? Dinosaur snot.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
And the collective nouns go: a murder of crows, a herd of cows, a migraine of children.
Q. Where do gorillas get their gossip?
A. From the grapevine.
What is white and has long ears, whiskers, and sixteen wheels? Two rabbits on Rollerblades!
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What is a dog’s favorite movie about dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark.
Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory? Because she was a plant eater!
What do you get if you cross a lobster with a telephone?
A snappy talk.
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
What kind of cat works for the Red Cross? A first-aid kit!
What do you call a sloth that can pick up an elephant ? Sir!
How could you tell the horse was getting old?
It was wither-ing away.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
Two fruit flies are out for dinner.
I'm really enjoy this date...”
“Yeah, but it’s only half rotten.”
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Where did the dog leave her car?
In the barking lot.
Why are pigs awful basketball players?
They hog the ball.
What do you call a thirsty camel ?
A dry humper.
It's just a lot of croc 'n' roll.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What do you call old horses?
Ancient roans.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite candy?
Lollihops.
How do you make a duck sing soul music?
Put him in the microwave until his Bill Withers
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