What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call an ant who skips school?
A truant.
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a cow?
A kanga-moo.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
How do frogs die?
They Kermit suicide.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
I had a bet on a giraffe race yesterday but my selection lost.
It was nowhere near winning – it lost by a neck.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Q: How does a tiger move a boat?
A: He uses roars.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why was the UN concerned when the waiter dropped Thanksgiving dinner?
Because it meant the fall of turkey, the ruin of grease, and the breakup of china.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
Why did the dog fail his driving test?
Because he couldn’t parallel bark.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
What do you call an ant that doesn’t sink?
Bouy-ant.
What is a dog’s favorite pizza topping?
Pup-peroni.
What is a cat’s favorite horror movie? The Purrrge!
What do koalas do when they’re facing a tough situation? They grin and bear it.
What reads and lives in an apple? A bookworm.
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
A spider saw a car he liked at the dealership and decided to take it out for a spin.
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
How do you save a drowning otter? Take your foot of its head
Who’s a llama’s favorite U.S. president?
Barack Ollama.
Did you hear about the owl who married a goat?
The had a hootenanny.
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Every koala supports the idea of being able to defend themselves against tyranny. They believe in having the right to bear claws.
Riding a camel really isn't as hard as they say it is.
Once you get over the first hump, the rest is easy.
How Do Ducks Talk?
They don't, you quack.
What does the father deer say to the mother deer to show his love?
“I love you deerly!”
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
I started dating a girl I really like. She's really into bees.
I think she's a keeper
Why do chickens rinse their mouth out with soap?
Because of all the fowl language.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
When you come across a lost wolf, the first greeting should be, “how are you where-wolf”.
What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?
You-Rang-a-Tang?
What do you call it when you boil a water buffalo?
A mist steak.
What happened to the cat that went to the flea circus? She stole the whole show.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
He wanted to get to the other slide.
Ravens fans are so tough....they hang out in crowbars.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What do you call a bear that jumps but never lands?
Peter Panda.
Why can't you take a turkey to church? They use FOWL language.
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