What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white.
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
I was she-shocked when my pet turtle died.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
What is gray, hairy and lives on a mans face? A mouse-tache!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
If someone says, “See you later alligator,” you must respond with, “In a while crocodile.”
It’s in the bye laws.
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment.
How can you hear the sounds of a group of dolphins?
Listen to their podcast.
What do stylish kangaroos wear?
Jumpsuits.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep!
Fortunately, I was only grazed.
What’s black and white and bounces?
A rubber panda.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What do you call an American Bee?
A USB.
How do you make a pig really happy on his birthday? Throw him a sow-prize party.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What happened when the two giraffes had a race?
It was neck and neck.
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
When the pig had a quarrel with his wife, he ended up having a gilt trip.
I tried riding a camel instead of a horse once.
It had its ups and downs.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
What's green and purple and goes up and down? Barney in an elevator.
What do you call a really happy ant?
Exuber-ant.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
How do you know when a crab's drunk?
When it starts walking straight
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig?
A boar constrictor.
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
What do you get when you cross ants with ticks?
All sorts of antics.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
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