Did you hear about the aquarium owner?
His shark was worse than his pike.
Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red? So she could hide in the strawberry patch!
What noise does a gorilla’s doorbell make?
King Kong
Which sea creatures cry the most?
Whales!
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
Just a buffalo laying down, bisoness as usual.
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
What is a cat’s favorite dessert? Chocolate mouse!
Why are pigs pink when they could be any pig-ment? Sow many reasons.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
Why was the Navy Seal sad?
He doesn't like the color blue.
The builder beaver decided to launch a new liquid dam-building product, but the market was too saturated.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with an angry man? A kangryoo
I had a job circumcising elephants.
The base salary wasn't great, but the tips were huge.
I felt so guilty after I stepped on that worm this morning. You should have seen it, it looked genuinely crushed.
What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant? Very big worm holes in your garden.
What type of cats usually purr the best? Purr-sians!
I recently got two German Shepherds. Because
I wanted some paw-dy guards.
Why don't alligators like fast food?
Because it is difficult to catch.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
Why don`t ducks tell jokes when they fly?
Because they would quack up.
Why did the duck cross the road?
Because there was a quack in the sidewalk.
What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft.
What’s black, white and red all over?
A penguin with a sunburn.
The worst part about being a giraffe…
Is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
What animals were last to leave the ark?
The elephants as they had to pack their trunks.
What did the fish say to the other fish? Pucker-fish!
What's the most common form of owl-on-owl violence?
Drive by hooting.
Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?
Seal.
Did you hear about the psychic hermit crab?
Makes shell-fulfilling prophecies.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a Spider? A Hare net!
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
He wasn’t what he was cracked up to be.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle?
Lots of horsepower.
What happens when you cross an Australian dog and a Beatle?
Dingo Starr.
What did the river say when it saw beavers for the first time? “Well, I’ll be dammed.”
What does an alligator do when he loses his tail?
It goes to a re-tail store.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A slow poke.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
How do you plan to shell-ebrate the New Year?
What is a cat’s favorite book? The Princess and the Paw-per.
What do you call a truck-load of tortoises crashing into a train-load of terrapins?
A turtle disaster.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
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