What is a cat’s favorite Tom Hanks character? Furrest Gump.
What do you call a turtle chef?
A slow cooker.
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
Q. Which deer prison is escape proof?
A. Elk-atraz.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
What did the koala write in his Valentine’s Day card to his girlfriend? “I love you-calyptus”.
Where do bad beavers go?
They're dammed to hell.
Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A. A walkie talkie!
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What’s long, green and goes hith?
A snake with a lisp.
My grandfather had the heart of a tiger
And a lifetime ban at the zoo
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
What is an owl’s favorite Beatles’ song?
Owl you need is love.
How do you catch a Polynesian squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a coconut.
Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus?
A porky-pine.
The sheep says to the shepherd "you're an jerk and I hate you!" and the shepherd says "Say what?"
And the sheep goes "You herd me!"
What did the maggot say to another?
What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this?
Did you hear the joke about the lumberjack, The sheep and the goat?
I wood tell ewe, but it’s a baaaaaad joke
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Why can’t you breed a eel with and eagle?
It’s Eeleagle.
What do you call a greedy ant?
An anteater.
I've always liked Buffalo Springfield....
....For What it's Worth.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
What do you call a horse running on a table?
A counter canter.
The guy nearly saw a murder when he almost ran over his car over a couple of crows.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
What did one frog say.to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What is in the middle of dinosaurs ? The letter "s"!
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo? A stripy jumper!
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
Why was the cat kicked out of the game? They thought she was a cheetah.
What do you call a bee that comes back from the dead?
Zombee
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis.
The farmer called his prize cow a bull-dozer because she was always sound asleep in the fields.
How does a rude princess sit on a horse?
Snide-saddle.
What do you call a large gorilla who appears to be in a bad mood?
Sir.
What do pig’s use as soap? Hogwash.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
I just learned how to speak parrot.
Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves? Mickey Moose!
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
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