How did the shark plead in its murder trial?
Not gill-ty.
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Hunting elephants is illegal as ivory well know.
How do worms measure their length?
They ask a tape worm to help out!
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Did you hear about the birds of prey on black Friday?
It was a free for owl.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Experts suggest that the crows flying beak first into windows at a horrifying speed comit a murder suicide.
Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving? The turkey because he's already stuffed!
I love walking my neighbor’s dog. It’s the leashed I can do.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
What’s a horse’s favorite grocery store?
No-fillies.
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
A feather boa.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
Why did it take the teen pig so long to get ready for school in the morning?
She was very piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear!
Why did the sloth get fired from his job? He would only do the BEAR minimum.
What do you call it when a family passes down a turkey recipe?
Copy and basting.
Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Pig…
Pig who?
Pig on someone your own size!
What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a large chested crab?
One’s a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean
What do the lady pigs say when someone leaves the toilet seat up? “Hoof-orgot to put the seat down?"
Why don’t dogs bark at their feet?
It isn’t polite to talk back to your paw.
What do you do if a rabbit keeps pooping in your yard? Take him to a pellet court.
What is the name of the final exam you take when studying bird law? The crow bar.
Flamingos are great to go out with, because they all party like flock stars.
The Beavers have the ugliest house in the neighborhood.
It’s a dam shame.
How do you count cows?
With a cowculator.
What do you call a pig that gets the test answer wrong?
Mistaken bacon.
Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?
Elephanta Claus.
If a four-legged animal a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, what’s a tiger?
Stri-ped.
What did the beaver mention to a tree? It has been nice gnawing you.
Q: What time is it when a tiger walks into the room?
A: Time to get out of the room.
What do you call an explosive horse?
Neigh-palm.
I like you, you croc my world.
Where do rabbits work? At IHOP restaurants!
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
What did the beaver say to his girlfriend?
Chew make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.
What do you call a dead flamingo?
A flaminghost.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
What birds like to write?
Penguins!
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport?
Saddleball.
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
What do you call an important English snake?
Sir Pent.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
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