What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
A kid at the spelling bee was asked to spell "inward"
A teacher tackled him after the first G
What’s the difference between a worm and pumpkin?
Have you ever tried worm pie?
What kind of ice cream do pigs like best?
Hoggin Daz!
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses.
Where do kittens learn to move around? On the catwalk
When is the best time to paint a dog?
When they're asleep.
What Do You Call Two Ducks And A Cow?
Quakers and milk.
What do you call someone who loves dogs?
A pug addict.
Hit the hammer that judges have and says “worm court is in session”. Then says
“All writhe”
What’s something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?
Baby kangaroos.
What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom?
"Odor in the court!"
What did the llama say when he was invited to the picnic?
Alpaca lunch.
What do you get if you cross a pelican and zebra? Two streets further away.
What did the pig say to his friend who had been cheated upon?
Please don't go bacon this relationship.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
Where do penguins go swimming?
At the South Pool!
Have you watched werewolves taking lunch, you will be amused, they literally wolf it down!
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
What does a deer call her boyfriend?
Cari-boo.
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
I asked my dog why he was having a bad day.
But all he said was “ruff”.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?
A hot-diggity-dog.
Why was the dog such a good storyteller?
Because he knew how to paws for dramatic effect.
What does the like to parrot wear to the beach? A beak-ini!
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
There is nothing impaws-sible if you’re as brave as a tiger!
What did the beaver say to the other beaver? I love you like no otter.
Where does a rottweiler sit in the cinema?
Anywhere it wants to.
Who’s a llama’s favorite composer?
Wolfgang Llamadeus Mozart.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Why did the penguin cross the road twice?
To prove he wasn’t chicken.
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didn’t show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
Why did the whale cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide.
What animal jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?
A kangaroo.
Why did the manager hire the marsupial? Because he was koala-fied.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog? Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it already had drumsticks.
Q. Why did the gorilla cross the road?
A. To get to the monkey biz on the other side.
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
Why are dinosaurs no longer around? Because their eggs stink.
How do you make a glow worm happy? Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted.
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
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