What does the winged horse do after it goes to the bathroom?
Pegaflushes.
If you see a wasp, don't kill it. Let it bee.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Why are Siberian tigers so happy at Christmas time? Because it is snowy, and they get to look like white tigers.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
Where did the bunny groom and bunny bride go after their wedding? On a bunnymoon.
What did the pony say to the Jedi Knight before she left on her adventure?
“May the horse be with you.”
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Where do deer get all of their coffee?
Star-bucks!
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
How do snails get their shells so shiny? They use snail varnish!
What does a winged horse drink from at a party?
A keg-asus.
Our local winery recently starting using a flock of sheep to keep the grass from getting too long.
At least that's what I herd through the grapevine.
What do tigers sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells! Jungle bells!
Why are tigers said to be religious? Because they frequently prey with all their family members.
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job? He was underkoalafied. How did he fix this? By going back to koalage.
What do you get when you mix an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia.
What’s the number one complaint pig spouses have about one another? Too stub-boar-n.
Flamingos are great at surfing the internet. I think it’s because they have webbed feet.
What do you say when you catch a bee?
Behold!
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
Why did the dolphin end its own life?
It was missing a porpoise.
A well-loved parrot died, and was digitally immortalized in a 3D rendering.
Polygon but not forgotten.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
Why do snakes always measure in inches?
Because they don’t have any feet.
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes.
What’s the difference between a comma and a cat?
One has the paws before the claws, the other has the clause before the pause.
What did the boyfriend mouse say too the girlfriend mouse family? Mice too meet you.
Why did the bees go on strike? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers.
Q. Why did the gorilla go to the barber?
A. He was concerned about his ape-pearance.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Our kids tee ball team, the Tigers, won the championship. All the parents were very proud and put in for a little statuette of the front of a tiger to give them to celebrate. When it came in, for some reason it was the back half of a tiger.
Needless to say, it was a cat ass trophy.
It’s pretty easy to choose your favorite type of bird
Flamingos have a leg up on all the rest.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks!
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
What’s the difference between a crow and a chicken?
A chicken can crow, but a crow can’t chicken.
What does a dog wear when it’s cold outside?
A pet-ticoat.
Q: What do tigers and computers have in common?
A: They both have mega bites.
How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
In a HEN-velope!
Go to BabaMail
