What do you call an ant who won’t go away?
Perman-ant.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex? Dino-sore.
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
Turtles that commit crime are sent to the shell-block.
What is a dog’s favorite dessert?
Pupcakes.
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Why did the bunny eat the wedding ring? Because he heard it was 18 carrots.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
What is a dog’s favorite pick-up line?
You must be my backyard… because I dig you
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
What kind of shoes do mice wear? Squeakers.
What did the fawn who wanted to be a child forever say?
“I don’t want to doe up!”
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
What do you call the door to a chicken barn?
The hen-trance.
How do officials start the races at the pink bird olympics? They say three... two... one... flaminGO!
Did you hear about the crocodile who was unable to mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What is a cat’s favorite song? Three blind mice!
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
What is a bunch of crows gathering money called? Crow funding.
Is a mountain goat a hillbilly?
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
The hotel said NO DOGS ALLOWED.
I guess it was a little too paw-sh.
What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
Who gives crocodiles presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
What do dolphins need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
If dolphins lived on land, which country would they live in?
Finland!
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
What do you call a kangaroo sanctuary?
A kazoo.
You were mauled by a gang of squirrels. You want to sue them but no lawyer wants to take your case. Why?
They think you are nuts.
Why does the rabbit bring toilet paper to the party? Because he is a party pooper.
Don't worry, bee happy!
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
What did the koala radio host say before going on a commercial break? “We’re going to take a small paws for our sponsors.”
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