Why did the rabbit like the adventure? It was a “hare-raising tail.”
What goes eek, eek, bang?
A mouse in a minefield!
My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered...
"Swarm."
Did you hear about the incident at the tiger exhibit?
It was a big cat-astrophe
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
Where do you take a sick hornet?
To the waspital.
What did the snail say as he slipped down the wall? How slime flies!
How does an antisocial crow say about a family party? "It was murder".
What's an owl's favorite Beatles song?
Owl You Need Is Love.
What do you call a pig who can’t mind his own business?
A nosey porker!
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
How did the kittens express their love for each other? In Holy Catrimony
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Why can’t you trust snakes?
They speak with forked tongues.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
I thought swimming with the dolphins was expensive, but swimming with the sharks cost me an arm and a leg!
Did you hear about the short-sighted frog?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
A camel can work all week without drinking..
A man can drink all week without working.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What’s striped and bouncy?
A tiger on a pogo stick!
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A Hot Cross bunny.
What do you call a very smart bunny? An egghead.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
How did the ponies stay in touch?
C-horse-pondence.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
When the wolf stood on the grape, the latter said nothing but let out a little bit of a wine.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
Did the dinosaur take a bath ? Why, is there one missing?
What did the duck do after he read all these jokes?
He quacked up.
How do sick kangaroos get better?
They have a hoperation.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
What sport does a cat play? Hairball!
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
The wolf crossed the road because it was chasing the chicken.
When does a sloth go "moo"? When it is learning a new language!
Why do horses make good lawyers?
Attention to de-tail.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
What do chickens call school tests?
Eggs-aminations.
Why don’t elephants use computers?
Because they’re afraid of the mouse.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
What do rodents say when they play bingo? 'Eyes down for a full mouse'!
The cawllarborne of the skinny crow was so pronounced.
"How much did you have to drink?"
"About a birds worth."
"What?"
"You know, toucans."
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
I invented a device that can stop a snake in its tracks.
It's made of asphalt.
What do you call a happy penguin?
A penGRIN.
What's invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts.
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