Let's play some scrabble, I just need to get the croc-a-tiles.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do cats read in the morning? The mewspaper!
What kind of whale can fly?
A Pilot whale.
There was a recent study showing that crows were hit a lot more by trucks than cars...
they came to the conclusion that this was because crows can warn each other by going "CAAAR CAAAR" but can't say "TRUCK TRUCK".
Where do koalas go to settle legal matters? A kangaroo court!
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?
Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
Did you hear about the rabbit who refused to leave her house? She was having a bad hare day.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
Why did the dog go to the bank?
To make a de-paws-it. But unfortunately, there was a mastiff line.
A flying turtle is called a shellicopter.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you call a group of crows who see food?
A tempted murder.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What kind of diet did the deer go on when she was trying to lose weight?
A non-deery diet.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ? A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!
Why do spider-musicians always have such long concert tours?
Because they have so many legs.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
Why does the paparazzi beaver have a camera pointing towards the river? To keep up with current events and give main-stream updates.
Some see a puddle of mosquito larva.
I see a pool of enbitenment.
What’s a snow princess’s glow worm’s favourite song?
Let it Glow, Let it Glow!
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
Where should you never take your dogs shopping?
The flea market.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
What is a cat’s favorite type of bird? An e-mew!
What do llamas always reply when you thank them?
No probllama.
What does a deer hang on its Christmas tree?
“Horn – aments.”
When pigs work together, it’s known as collab-boar-ation.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
Q. How do does and fawns fly from place to place?
A. In a deer-igible
Why don’t tigers like fast food?
Because they can’t catch it!
I've just thought of a really funny owl joke, but I can't use it until 2/8/20.
Two crows land on a park bench.
They were arrested for conspiring to murder.
What was the motto of the unique deer? Deer to be different!
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?
Noah’s Shark.
What do dogs increase?
The pup-ulation.
What’s an elephant’s secret talent?
They’re great at multi-tusking.
What did the pig exclaim when the wolf grabbed its tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?
Santa Jaws.
What is a criminal group of kangaroos called?
A gangaroo.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee calling fowls.
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