What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
What do alligators and Windows have in common?
Neither of them has enough bytes!
The phone rings, and a crow picks it only to find out it’s for her husband. She then says: "Hey John, you have a phone caw."
Why don’t fish play basketball?
Because they're afraid of the net.
What do llamas always say when they introduce themselves?
“Fleeced to meet you.”
How do you give a deer a compliment?
“Fawn over him!”
What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use? A dino-saw!
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words.
The expensive dog has gone missing.
However, police are saying that at least they have a lead. Once she is found they will Retriever.
Why wasn't King Kong able to climb to the top of the Empire State Building?
He couldn't quite fit in the elevator.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been? Eggs mark the spot.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
Where do horses live in Harry Potter?
Diagonal Alley.
What do penguins wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert?
It was foal.
How do you make a telephone in the jungle?
With toucans and a piece of string.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon.
Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken's day off!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A piiig!
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
On which day do tiger eat people?
Chewsday
Where do parrots invest their money?
In the stork market
What’s a goat’s favorite drink?
Goat-arade.
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put the fish in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner.
What’s small, furry and slightly purple? A koala holding its breath!
Why did the deer cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t a chicken.
What do you called a crow that cant find his way?
A lost caws
3 animals enter a bar. A lion, a tiger and a bear.
Oh my!
Picking your favorite snack can be like picking the slowest turtle in the pack.
What did the teenage crow want for his birthday? A brand new caw!
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?
A bird that talks your ears off.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? adoyouthinkhesaurus.
What are ants made of?
Antimatter.
What Do You Call A Clever Duck?
A wise quacker
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.
What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer? Mice cubes!
What do rabbits say before they eat? Lettuce pray.
Crowing, crowing, gone.
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Oysters don’t share their pearls because they’re shellfish!
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