According to pig etiquette, piglets are meant to be porcine and not heard.
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
What did the river ask the beaver? "Water you doing today?"
A magician once said he could make a tiger disappear but only transformed it into a tabby cat...
It was a sleight exaggeration.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
What do you call a deer that can write with both hands?
Bambi-dextrous.
Which dinosaur slept all day ? The dino-snore!
I had to carry a group of crows once.
It was murder on my back!
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
What is a three toed sloth's favorite kind of chip?
Fritos.
Sometimes we eat a crow while other times we eat Croatia.
Why was the mother rattlesnake sad?
The time had come for her children to strike out on their own.
My dog needed date ideas.
I told him to whine and dine her.
Why do people hate bee puns?
Because they don’t want to beelieve they are good
The farmer cried wolf when all his three pigs were mauled by the jungle wolf.
What do a dog and a cell phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
What's a frog's favorite game?
Croak-et.
In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated? Turkey.
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
How do monkeys get down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
What’s the difference between a dog and a gator?
A dog’s bark is worse than its bite.
What do you call a well-dressed ant?
Eleg-ant.
What’s a deer’s favorite place to get ice cream?
Deery Queen.
Why do cats have minty breath? Because they use mousewash
Why are tigers striped? Because they never want to be spotted.
How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow? Down in the mouth.
How do you catch a unique bunny? Unique up on it.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
Why did the pony turn himself in?
He felt rem-horse.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?
Shark Trek.
What did the owl say to the judge?
I’m talon you, it wasn’t me.
What did the Mountain lion say to the bathroom attendant?
Out of the way, I’m about to Puma pants!
How do you know you’ve been visited by a possessed rabbit? He leaves deviled eggs.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.
The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'Sí.' 'Ja.'
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Most camels prefer camelmile drinks because of the nutrition in there.
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you call a small, two winged insect resembling a mosquito that likes to keep the peace?
A diplognat!
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
What do you call an insect that can’t drink milk?
Lactose intoler-ant.
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
Go to BabaMail
