What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter. A little (h)otter
What did the weather reporter say to his wife?
“I hope it doesn’t rain, deer!”
What do kittens wear? Dia-purrs!
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
On one bright Sunday morning, one long lost wolf finally met his longtime classmate. “So, Howl’s it goin’!”
He’s not a bad dog.
He’s just a little ruff around the edges.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
How can you tell which end of a worm is which?
Tell it a funny Halloween joke and see which end laughs!
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
Have you ever wondered which part of the flamingo has the most feathers? I found out once – turns out it’s the outside.
What do you call a white skinned gorilla?
Honkey Kong.
I do find that flamingos don’t plan very well for the future… They’re too prone to putting all their eggs in the one basket.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
I went to the Veterinarian today.
She really knew how to make my dog heal.
What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?
Starfish.
What martial art do monkeys practice?
Flung Poo.
Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?
It ended in a tie.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed.
What do you call an alligator that sneaks up and bites you from behind?
A tail-gator.
When someone accidentally stepped on his foot, the wolf screamed, Aoooowwwww!
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
When the cow forget how to give milk, she was udderly confused.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
A lobster's favorite shot in tennis?
The lob.
Why did the turkey NOT cross the road?
To prove that he wasn't chicken.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
Why couldn’t the dog say, “Ahhh”?
Because the cat got his tongue.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
A wolf that uses bad language is known as a swearwolf.
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
Why are crows the safest flying birds?
They're the most CAWtious.
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
When I was younger, I dressed up as a frog and robbed a bank.
That was the first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Where is a flamingo’s favourite place to dance? The hop, of course!
I personally think bunnies are ear-resistible.
Once I told a joke about mosquitos...
It was malarious.
What’s the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
One’s a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts,
“Hey, are you a caiman?”
The alligator replies, “I’m alright, thanks, kid!”
What did the worm say to his friend when he got stuck in pumpkin?
Worm your way out of that one!
Besides eucalyptus leaves, what is a koala bear’s favorite vegetable? Koalaflower.
What were the ponies most excited for in the meal?
The main horse.
What is a dog’s favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas.
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Why couldn’t the dog fit in his clothes?
He was a little husky
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