Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
Why don’t Alpacas like singing with background music?
They prefer to sing alpacapella.
What kind of gang violence is common among owls?
A drive by hooting.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat?
Thoroughbred.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside? A mouse sandwich!
It may seem a bit corny but we appreciate you working your tail off for us.
Two male zebras in the Zoo started making rap-music.
They're called the Zbruhs.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What does a tiger say to his friends before eating a meal? "Let us prey!"
What did the fish say when it swam into a brick wall?
Dam!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite season?
Spring.
What’s the easiest way to catch fish? Have someone throw it at you!
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
What do you call an elephant that’s never clean?
A smelly-phant.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
I told a friend that I thought his pet zebra was a fake. He said, “Well spotted”.
What do llamas say when you tell them something obvious?
“No spit, Sherlock.”
What do you call a group of politically similar crows?
A cawcus
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Have you ever heard of Pavlov’s dog?
Yeah, he rings a bell
What is a dog’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone
What do we call a deer that wears a mask and refuses to tell its name?
“Anony – moose.”
What do you call a camel with three humps?
Pregnant.
Q: Why did the tiger eat the lamp?
A: He wanted a light lunch.
I like you, you croc my world.
What kind of cats love to go bowling? Alley cats!
What do cows get when they are sick? Hay Fever.
What's the opposite of an elephant?
An eleph-antonym.
A spider crawled under my keyboard a few minutes ago.
Good news: I’ve got it under Ctrl.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
What do you call a noisy group of crows?
A caw-cophony!
What do you call an ant with big hair?
Bouff-ant.
What fish like to fly?
Flying Fish
What kind of computer does a worm have? A Macintosh.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A civil serpent.
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
Have you heard about that socially awkward chef that only cooks with snake meat?
I’m pretty sure he has Asp burgers.
Did you hear about the crow who worked at a call Center?
He was fired for Just Caws.
What do you call an ant who can’t speak?
A mute ant.
Who dosent eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey because it is always stuffed.
That romantic cow took his new girlfriend to the moo-vies.
Where do the monkeys melt their cheese?
Under the gorilla.
What's an albino crow called? A caw-casian.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
When does a turkey go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
What do you call it when a pig loses its memory? Hamnesia.
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
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