Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
My dog got a promotion.
She’s now a branch manager.
What do you call a super articulate dinosaur?
A Thesaurus.
Q. What did the witch get when she crossed a doe with a tornado?
A. A whirling deer-vish.
Did You Hear About The Duck Who Thought He Was a Squirrel?
It was one tough nut to quack.
What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jump rope.
How is a pig’s tail like 4 o’clock in the morning? It’s twirly.
Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in a school.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Bronto-snorus.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
What's more amazing than a talking turkey? A spelling bee!
A woman bought a rooster, wanting to hear it crow.
However, it turns out the rooster was mute, so she was out of cluck.
Being shellfless entails volunteering at the relief center during disaster.
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
When a pig takes out a loan, he becomes a boar-ower.
Why do piglets take home economics in school? To learn how to sow.
What did the penguin say after he went shopping?
Put it on my bill.
What did the little piglet want from the swine?
A piggyback ride home.
How do tigers like their cheese?
Grrrrreated
"Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a python."
"Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know."
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why are two parrots better than one? One parrot can't carry a coconut, but toucan!
How to fish like to eat cereal?
In a fish bowl!
What does a cat say when it gets injured? MeOWWW!
Do you know what a beavers' favorite snack is? Wood chips.
What did the gorilla wear when he was cooking in the kitchen?
An ape-ron
Did you hear about the woman who complained about her rabbit stew? She said there was a hare in her soup.
What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?
A bae con.
What did the jockey respond when someone asked to ride his horse?
“Dis-mount is mine.”
What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?
A flightoplankton.
I saw a mosquito in the kitchen. I could have killed it, but I let it fly away...
That's probably going to come back to bite me later.
What do you call people who are obsessed with crocodiles?
Crocophiles.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
If you need a mystery-solving, just call an in-vesti-gator.
There was a weird Crab
Whenever he used to walk, his claws used to make a ta-ta-ta-ta sound.
What are the cat police called? The claw Enforcement.
When one of them have a birthday, turtles call for a shell-ebration.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
What did the dolphin say when it broke its neighbor’s window?
It wasn’t on porpoise!
What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.
A star athlete in Koalaville got kicked off the Olympic team for cheating. Unfortunately, he was diskoalafied.
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
What do you call a goat on a mountain?
Hillbilly.
What's a sheep's favorite art style?
Baa's Relief
What does a turtle do during winter? Sit by the fire and worm himself up.
What do you call a gorilla who has been locked up in prison?
A kong-vict
What’s a goat’s favorite TV show?
America’s Goat Talent.
Where do Egyptians seal away their drugs?
In a narcophagus.
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