What kind of musical instrument do mice play? A mouse organ! Why do mice have long tails? Well, they'd look silly with long hair!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
Who’s a llama’s favorite pop singer?
Llama Del Ray.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino?
A horse-shoe.
Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds? Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.
Top 25 Funniest Duck Names:
1. James Pond
2. Quack Sparrow
3. Duck Norris
4 Quacks-a-Lot
5 Quackhead
6 Quacko
7. Quackers
8. Nutquacker
9. Quacker Jack
10. Quack Efron
11. Quack Black
12. Moby Duck
13. Quackula
14. Sir Duckington
15. Eggbert
16. Quackers
17. Duckleberry Finn
18. Quacker Jack
19. Lucky Duck
20. Cheese and quackers
21. Quaker Jack
22. Duckingham Palace
23.Waddles
24. Quackie Chan
25 Firequacker
Did you know that camels can last longer without water than se*?
They can go three weeks without water, but can't go a day without a hump.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
My wife tried to claim she was a night owl.
She was lying though, because when I tried to turn her head through 270 degrees, her neck snapped.
Each year, lots of wolves go treating in howl-o-ween.
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
Fang letters.
What is the biggest ant in the world?
An elephant.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
How do mice celebrate when they move home? With a mouse warming party!
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
What do we call a deer without any eye?
“No – eye – deer.”
Tigers are probably the most roarsome animal ever created!
Why are Dalmatians so bad at hiding?
Because they are always spotted.
The reason the cow wore a bell around her neck was because her horn didn’t work anymore.
What do you call a dinosaur with one eye? Doyouthinkhesawus
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn’t evolved yet.
The lobster is one shell of an animal.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
Crows have 16 feather pinions and ravens have 17 pinions. It's just a matter of a pinion.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but I was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.
I must have phoned Dial-a-Llama by mistake.
Why won’t crocodiles attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy!
Why was Pegasus such a good ballerina?
He was flo-wing.
What do you call a parrot with an umbrella? Polly unsaturated.
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
Did you hear about the kangaroo with glasses?
He had to go to the hopthalmologist.
Why did the beaver refuse to laugh at any of the twig's jokes? He is not a big fan of dry humor.
What's the worst part about being a beaver?
It's a lot of dam work.
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.
What do you call a cat that gets what they want? Purr-suasive.
What do you call a beaver with a bad attitude who acts lazy? A beaver that doesn’t give a dam.
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
A crow’s favorite nutty dessert is Pecawn Pie.
How do you wash a horse?
On a sponge-line.
Kangaroos can grow up to six feet.
Most only grow two.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
How long do chickens work?
Around the cluck.
People in Iran are scared of spiders
But in Iraq, no phobia.
What is a crocodiles favourite dessert?
Brandy snaps.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
I asked a panda if he was my friend.
He said, “Just bearly”.
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