What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
What happens to great actors? They get nominated for an a-cat-emy award!
Knock knock!
Who is there?
Beaver
Beaver who?
Be-ware of the turbulent river.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
A pig just won the lottery. What do you call him?
Filthy rich.
What was the horse’s best ballroom dance? The Foxtrot.
What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
There was so much crackling on the line, I thought a pig was disturbing the phone.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
Looks like the boa cons-tricked her.
What do bees use to build roads? Nec-tar.
I went to the zoo the other day and saw an alligator that will only eat finely chopped food.
It was an alligrator.
What did the dog say when he sat down on sand paper?
Rough.
A homicide detective walks into a bar and orders a beer.
"Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a murder?"
"Well you can't be sure that's a murder," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Did you get to hear his new collection of wolf puns? They are howl-arious, absolutely rib cracking.
An introvert elephant and an emo giraffe walked into a bar.
They couldn’t fit in.
Why don’t chickens wear pants?
Their peckers are on their face.
My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday.
It tortoise nothing.
I went to a mosquito themed restaurant.
It wasn't very good, though. After a few bites I got up and left.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
Who is a crow’s favorite actor? Russell Crow!
If you have a parrot, it says a lot about you!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A brick layer.
What do you call a spiders child?
An arach-kid.
Grandma runs the kitchen like a turtle-tarian; give her some space there.
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
What’s a pig’s favorite holiday? Ar-boar Day.
Did you hear about the sheep's jousting tournament?
It was a real baa-lancing act.
Crows go to get their shopping at Cawst Co.
What did the ghost say to the bee
“BOOBEE”
Why did the Archaeopteryx get the most worms?
Because he was an early bird.
Did you here about the croc with a serious drug addiction?
It was a crackodile.
Q. What kind of underwear do s*xy gorillas wear?
A. Chim-pant-zies.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart's new?
How does a deer know what day of the week it is?
It looks at its calen-deer.
What do you get when you cross a Sheepdog with a jelly?
The collie wobbles.
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
What kind of luggage did the vulture bring on the flight?
Carrion.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-Mates!
What happens when fish start an addiction to worms?
They get hooked.
Why was the horse feeling a bit sick?
Its voice was a bit hoarse.
What animal has more lives than a cat? A frog … because he croaks every night!
What is a deer’s favorite place to get breakfast?
Dunkin’ Doe-nuts!
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