What’s black and white and goes up and down?
A panda who’s stuck in a lift.
What did the woodworm say to the chair?
It's been nice gnawing you.
A snapping turtle is a turtle that takes up pgotography.
The beavers avoid going deep-diving now. They saw one beaver hitting rock bottom.
What did the cat say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny!
Where do crows try their luck?
Ma-cau
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Flamingos can get away with the most outrageous behaviour and you’d never know that they were embarrassed. This is because you can never tell when they are blushing.
What’s a horse’s favorite dinosaur?
The broncosaurus.
What did the duck who learned physics say?
Quark, quark.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
My girlfriend and I saw an inflatable gorilla In front of a jacuzzi store
She asked me why they would do that for a jacuzzi store. I told her it was a guerilla tactic. She was not impressed.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
Who is the wasps' favorite singer?
Sting.
What happened to the pig who ate too fast? They got a ticket for running a Slop Sign.
I went fly-fishing yesterday.
All I caught was two bluebottles.
Did you hear about the panda that had a slight stutter?
Seems it’s a story that bears repeating.
What do sloths throw in winter? Slowballs.
What is the best period of a bee's relationship?
The honeymoon.
In the 5th month of every year, my aunt lets her pigs in the field…
It’s mayham!
What do penguins sing at a birthday party?
Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Q. What did the mother doe name her new twin babies?
A. Bam B and Bam A.
What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ? Jurassic Pork!
Why don’t pigs eat cake? Because they’re morally opposed to bacon.
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? a thesaurus.
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat? Anything she wants!
What type of dog is best at timekeeping?
A watch dog.
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
How do you get two whales in a car?
Start in England and drive west.
Why are there no penguins in Britain?
Because they’re afraid of Wales.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a crab that throws things?
Lobster
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
Why did the mouse eat a candle?
For some light refreshment!
The tiger asked his longtime friend, "Will you be my tigerlfriend."
What do you call a cat that was caught by the police? The purr-petrator.
What is a frog's favorite time?
Leap year.
What do you call an old dog?
Grandpaw.
Why did the kangaroo hesitate?
He didn’t want to jump to a conclusion.
What did the big stag deer say to the hunter?
“Buck off, man!”
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
What is a medieval owl called?
A knight owl.
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