What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
Before training its killer dolphins, Iran had to convert them to fishlam.
How do you get a one-armed monkey out of a tree?
Wave to it.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
What do you call an alligator who kills bugs all day long?
A fumigator.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
What do you call a dog that sneezes?
Achoo-huahua.
How did the headless chicken cross the road?
In a KFC bucket.
Why don’t dolphins play basketball?
Because they’re afraid of the net!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
What is a gorillas favourite ice cream flavour.
Chocolate chimp.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
Any advice on getting a pet pig? Just be sure you get the pig of the litter.
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
What is a parrot's favourite colour shade?
Polly-chromatic
What steps do you take when you see a tiger running towards you? Big ones!
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What card game do crocodiles like playing?
Snap!
What is a Leatherback Sea Turtles favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jellyfish.
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves.
Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
What is the most expensive kind of fish?
The goldfish.
Q. Which book makes virgin gorillas blush?
A. The Naked Ape.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What did the cat say when something bad happened? That’s un-fur-tunate!
What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
What did the banana do when he saw the monkey?
The banana split.
What symbolizes a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
How can you tell you’re in a pig wine bar? Because everything’s swine.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want — he can’t hear you.
What do you call a penguin in a shell suit?
An egg.
A flamingo can be a really good friend to have. However, they generally fit the bill really well.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
What do you call a snake that builds things?
A boa constructor.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What flies around your light at night and can bite your head off?
A tiger moth.
Why did the fish cross the road?
The chicken had the days off!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? Boy! I'm stuffed!
What’s a llama’s favorite song?
Llama Chameleon.
A beaver goes into a bar and sees a man standing behind the bar and asks him...
"Excuse me sir. Is the bar tender here?"
What squeaks as it solves crimes?
Miami mice!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An animal who never forgets to eat its carrots.
What did the librarian say to the beaver who wanted to read a help book? You can try by-rowing it.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
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