Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
I bought a pack of those animal shaped biscuits,
but had to take them back as the seal was broken.
Q. What does one teen buck say to oad another into doing something risky?
A. I double deer you!
What type of key opens a banana?
A monkey.
Why is the barn so noisy?
Because the cows have horns.
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Which type of whale can fly?
Pilot whales.
What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ? A Stegosau-rust.
Local restaurant has kangaroo loin and it’s actually pretty good
It’s been awhile since I had it, but I remember it being a little jumpy and has a kick.
If I had a talking parrot, the first thing I would teach it to say is "Help, they've turned me into a parrot!"
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?
A neigh-bor.
Why did the cat run away from the tree? Because of its bark!
Why did the girl pour glue into her fishbowl?
She wanted to make a fish stick!
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
Q. Why was the baby gorilla such a big brat?
A. Because his parents are big apes.
Q: Why did the tiger cross the road?
A: To stop the zebra crossing.
Where do horses get their weaves from?
Mane.
If you need to share out your to-do list, just be a dele-gator.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you call it when a Crocodile becomes an Elvis Impersonator?
Crocabilly
What do you call a cat that has a hundred legs? A cat-erpillar.
What did Detective Duck say to his partner?
“Let’s quack this case.”
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?
Jaw-va.
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
Q. What is another name for elk diarrhea?
A. Chocolate Moose.
Why couldn’t the old cat see? He suffered from car-aracts
Why was the actress scared of the deer?
She had stag fright.
Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
To stay away from the nuts on the ground.
A fight between tiger and lion broke out. Both of them wanted to become the next empe-roar of the jungle.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house?
The costs were mounting.
Where did the hamsters invade the beaver colony? Hamsterdam.
What do you call a pig that does a lot of charity work?
Philanthropig
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
What food did the Gorilla order when he went to France?
Ape Suzettes.
What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
It’s roar birthday!
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
What did Spock say to his cat? Live long and paw-sper.
What did the mommy dolphin do when her son was an hour late for dinner?
She flipped out!
Where does a penguin keep its money?
In a snow bank.
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
How do Penguins drink their cola?
On the rocks.
I saw a pig with laryngitis.
He was disgruntled.
What’s a mouse favourite family sitcom?
Full Mouse.
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