What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry
What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had? Baby dinosaurs!
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is the name of Santa’s rudest deer?
Rude-olph.
Q. Which kind of cheese is made fom deer milk?
A. Moose-erella.
Why did the deer go to the spa?
“To doe off some steam!”
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son
"Beehive!"
What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
The group of crows that attacked the lady was accused of murder, the cawps are still looking for the probable caws.
How do you get yarn out of a snake?
Wait until it sheds its skein.
What did the deer say to his sulky friend?
“Buck up!”
How do you apologize to a sloth? BEAR your heart and soul.
How do pigs greet their family and friends?
With hogs and kisses.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
A pork chop.
What’s a rabbit’s favorite game? Hopscotch!
What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist.
What did the deer say when she met her favorite celebrity?
“I’m a big fawn of your movies!”
Why doesn’t Sweden export its cattle?
It wants to keep its Stockholm.
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is.
Personally, I think it’s the sea.
Where do wasps go on holiday?
Stingapore.
What would you call a dream where a koala bear is eating you? A bite-mare.
What Do You Call A Cat That Swallows A Duck?
A duck-filled-fatty-pus
Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
A shell-ter.
Young goats should be careful when they're out and and about and shouldn't jump into a stranger's car.
That's how you get kidnapped.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
Why had the beaver left the pond? He thought it was too shallow.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
What swims in the sea, carries a machine gun, and makes you an offer you can't refuse?
The Codfather.
Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch? That depends on how fast you carry it!
As long as your dog sticks by your side.
Anything is paw-sible.
What do you call a turkey's evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do worms have trouble getting up in the morning? Because the early bird catches the worm.
Why do gorillas have really big fingers?
Because they have really big nostrils!
Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
Independ-ant.
Did you hear about the law firm with the most intimidating lawyers?
It’s filled with liti-gators.
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries.
What’s a whale’s favorite movie?
The Humpback Of Notre Dame.
Q. After the stripper is done, what happens at a stag party?
A. Deer-ty dancing.
What did the deer order to drink at the bar?
Ice cold deer.
Why are worms so easy to get along with?
Because they are always down to Earth.
Q. What do you call a gorilla who studies large primates and has great grades?
A. Ape lust student.
What kind of eels can travel on land?
Wheels.
What did the baby rabbit say before his favorite holiday? I carrot wait for the Easter Bunny to visit.
What did the kitten do when she wanted to order something? She looked in the cat-alog!
I can’t believe that during the attempted murder, John Crow, Russel Crow and Sheryl Crow were all in the room.
Q. What does a doe stripper at a stag party take off?
A. Everything but her un-deer-wear.
What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth?
Hard cheese!
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