What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What is a cat’s favorite piece of artwork? The paw-trait of Meowna Lisa.
What did the squirrel say to its baby before it had to leave?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the first century Christian say about the lion that killed his wife?
I'm Gladiator.
How did the sheep farmer become best in his field?
Shear luck.
Why did the viper, viper nose?
Because the adder, adder hankerchief.
Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag? They can lighten your load.
The pun class we attended totally tortoise nothing.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
How did the tigers greet the other animals in the jungle? "Hey! Pleased to eat you."
Why was the cat not allowed on the computer? Because she tried to catch the mouse!
Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
For kitty littering.
Where do otters come from?
Otter Space.
What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day!
What did the dog say to its fleas?
Stop bugging me
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Zebras aren’t fans of colouring books. They don’t like having to stay between the lions.
Q. Where are deceased deer laid to rest?
A. In a moose-oleum.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
How do you apologize to a koala?
Bear your heart and soul to them.
What bee is most indecisive?
A May bee!
Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun? At the dino-shore
What do you use to brush a dead cat? A catacomb!
My pet seal was getting a bit old and wrinkly
...so I bought a seal iron
What do you call a large group of sick pandas?
A Pandamic.
What’s a Chinese bear’s favorite organ of the body?
The panda-creas.
What does a snail wear to go dancing?? Escargogo boots.
Why are parrots so good at improvisation? Because they know how to wing it!
What do you call a gorilla wearing headphones?
Anything you'd like, it can't hear you.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
What do you call a cold dog?
A pup-sicle. Better steer clear, especially if he’s fur-ocious… don’t want him to give you frost-bite.
All the girls I meet keep thinking I’m a sheep.
Every time they see me they say “Ewe”
What do you get when you cross a cow and an earthquake?
Milkshake.
What did the baby mosquito say after his first flight?
“Mama, mama! Did you see that? Everyone was clapping for me!”
What did the introverted pig say when asked why they don’t like socializing?
“I’m not a people porcine.”
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Don't worry, bee happy!
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ? Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ? Find somewhere else to sleep!
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon.
What is a beaver's most favorite song ever? You made me a, you made me a beaver, beaver.
Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them.
What did the cowboy say when his dog ran away?
Now wait just a doggone minute.
What’s a whale’s favorite meal?
Fish and ships.
What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams? They lived hoppily ever after.
Why do Dachshunds nap in the sun?
Because they’re hot dogs.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
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