What happened when the dog ate a firefly?
He smiled with de-light
What did the pig do when it came to a pork in the road? It pigged the road less traveled.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a sloth? A slow leopard.
Beaver jokes
Can be pretty dam funny.
I came across an injured flamingo the other day. I tried to help, but luckily it was already receiving medical tweetment.
What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad.
Alligators can live up to 100 years…
Which is why there’s a chance that they will see you later.
An arrogant gazelle walks up to a bunch of lions and tells them how much better he is than them.
He was consumed by pride.
What hotel do mice stay in ? The Stilton
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
What planet does a seal live on?
EARFFF EARFFF EARFFFF.
What will you get if you cross a tiger and a watchdog? A terrified watchman.
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Why did the mother cow give the sleepy baby cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay.
What’s the one way you should never greet a male pig? “Sow, what’s up?”
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Why don’t giraffes make good pets?
They’re too high maintenance.
How do baby chickens dance?
Chick-to-chick.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
Why was the snake mad at the jewel thief?
Because he wanted his diamondback.
What do you call a monkey that sells potato chips?
A chipmunk.
Q. Why was the stag thrown in the army brig?
A. Due to deer-eliction of duty.
What did the dolphin detective say to his partner?
Something smells fishy!
What is a parrot’s favorite game?
Hide and Speak!
Llama know if you don’t like these puns and alpaca my suitcase and leave!
What does a horse call her best friend?
Her mane chick.
How do you make a panda?
Punch a polar bear in the eyes.
What's a bee's favorite novel?
The Great Gats-Bee
Why did the duck detective get the key to the city?
Because he quacked the case.
The zookeeper was struggling to explain why two tropical birds were stuck together.
It was toucan fusing.
Why don't squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.
Where do fish wash?
In a river basin.
What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?
Light ale!
Turtles keep on winning battles because they are perfect at shelling their enemies.
What does a koala do before making any kind of appointment? He always checks his koalander.
What do you get if you cross a giraffe and a hedgehog?
An extra long toilet brush.
What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip hop.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What's a fish's favorite musical instrument?
A bass guitar.
Q: What did the sign for the party for beavers say?
A: Beaver or be square.
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
What did the sea say to the penguin?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws and a complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What kind of money does deer use?
“Bucks!”
What’s black and white and stands in the corner?
A naughty panda.
What’s the one book all piglets read in grade school? A Series of Un-porcine-ite Events.
What do rabbits like to sing? “Every bunny was kung fu fighting.”
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